Afroman Colt 45 (Crazy Rap) Lyrics

Wait a minute man
'ey check this out man (tell it)
It was this blind man right? (This this man check it)
It was this blind man right?
N he was feelin his way down the street with this sick right?(Yeah)
Ey he walked past this fish market ya know what i'm sayin(Fish market)
He stopped he took a deep breath n he said

(breathin in) Whoa! Good morning ladies.

(Laughing in background)
You like that s___ man?(That was pretty good)
Ey man i got a gang o' dat s___ man
Hey Ill tell ya what
My man on tha gutair
You on the drums
ey ey yall gather round the mic
ill tell you all my m________in jokes i got man
First I'mma start it off like this
Help me sing it homeboy!
C'mon!

Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that Tumbleweed
As the marijuana burns
we can take our turn
singin' them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint
pick out the seeds and stems,
feelin' high as hell
flyin' through palm dale
skatin' on datin' rims
so roll, roll, the '83
cadillac coupe de ville
if my tapes and cd's just don't sell
i bet my cabby will

well it was just sun down
in a small white town
they call it east side palmdale
when the afroman walked through the white land
houses went up for sale..(hell)
well i was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
when i met a lil' girl named Jan (jan)
i let her ride in my caddy
'cause i didn't know her daddy
was the leader of the ku-klux-klan
we f___ed on the bed
f___ed on the floor
f___ed so long
i grew a f___in' afro
then i f___ed to the left
f___ed to the right
she sucked my d___
til the s___ turned white
i thought to myself
sheeba, sheeba!
got my a__s lookin' like a zebra
i put on my clothes
and i was on my way
till her daddy pulled up in a chevorlet
so i ran, jumped out the back window
but her daddy he was waitin' with a 2 by 4
oh he beat me to the left
he beat me to the right
the m________er whooped my a__ all night
but i ain't mad
at her prejudice dad
that's the best dam p____ i eva had
gotta bag of weed
and a bottle of wine
i'm gonna f___ed that b____
just one more time

i met this lady in Hollywood
she had green hair but d___ she look good
i took her to my house 'cause she was fine
but she whooped out a d___ that was bigger than mine
i met this lady from j__an
never made love with an african
i f___ed her once, i f___ed her twice
i ate that p____ like shrimp-fried rice
don't be amazed at the stories i tell you
i met a woman in the heart of Australia
had a big b___ and big t__ties too
so i hopped in her a__ like a kangaroo
see i met this woman from Hawaii
stuck it in her a__ and she said "iiiiiiiiieeeeee"
lips was breakfast
p____ was lunch
then her t__ties busted open with hawaiian punch
met Kernal Sanders wife
in the state of Kentucky
she said i'll fry some chicken
if you'd just f___ me
I came in her mouth
it was a crisis
i gave her my secret blend
of herbs and spices