Stephen Lynch If I Could Be A Superhero Lyrics
            If I could be a superhero
            I would be awesome man
            I'd fly around the world fighting crime
            According to my awesome plan
            And if I saw criminals trying to lie
            Hurting other people and making them cry
            I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van
            'Cause I would be awesome man
        
            Now, Some criminals want you to be a criminal
            And they offer you things like drugs, alcohol
            But we know what to do, kids
            We just say 'No'
        
            If I could be a superhero
            I would be Drug-Free boy
            Telling the world of the evils of drugs
            And all of the lives they destroy
            Well I would take all the junk
            He's getting so high
            With their needles and bongs
            And their sticks of tye
            As I burn them alive I would squeal with joy
            Because I would be drug-free boy
        
            If I could be a superhero
            I'd be Immigration dude
            I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes
            For eating up all of our food
            And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
            Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
            I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood
            'Cause I'd be Immigration Dude
        
            Kids, You can make up your very own superhero
            If you could, Who would it be?
            If I a superhero
            Would you be justice guy
            Making sure people get what they deserve
            Especially women who lie
            Like if a wife left her husband
            With three kids and no job
            To run off to Hawaii
            With some doctor named bob
            You can skin them and drain them of blood so they die
            Especially bob
            Then you would be justice guy
        
            Or you could be more subtle
            No, I didn't mean to be vague
            Give her the mad cow disease
            Let him die of the plague
            As long as they suffer for their terrible lies
            Especially Bob
            Then You would be Justice Guy
            Yes then you would be a super hero like me
        
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