What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm in a band, ladies can't you see?
Please don't judge me by the car that I drive,
Or the fact that I haven't had a date since '95
Come on, don't go away...

Don't listen to your friends when they that I am gay.
I try so hard but I just can't get no play.
Don't have any STDs...
Come on, I'm begging on my knees,
Come on get close,
Just ignore the fleas.
We will take anything that walks...
Because we're desperate

I know I'm not a handsome man,
Cuz I look like an ogre with a farmer's tan.
And every time the ladies see me and I'm walking their way,
They say, "Brian smells, everybody stay away"

Oh ladies, can't you see...? (oh ladies, can't you see)
I can't help it because I'm ugly,
But I'm in a band, and don't that count for something?
Come on now, don't delay...

If you don't call then I'll probably rent-a-date
And my tab keeps rising, cuz I do it every day
We will take anything that walks...
Because we're desperate

Oh ladies, can't you see?
I'm in a band, why aren't you attracted to me?
I don't care if you're underage
Just as long as you'll be seen with me in a public place.
What's it gonna take? (What's it gonna take?)
For you help me bake cookies?
Doo-Wah-Doo
Cuz I need to know
I'm all hot and ready
And I got to go...
Because we're Desperate

Why oh why must I have this rash?
No girls talk to me they just step back.
Should I lift weights?
Would that make me more s__ual?
Maybe wear glasses would that make me intellectual?
Come on let's do it fast (come on let's do it fast)
Cuz I'm all hot and ready and it just wont last
And I got 20 dollars what can I get for that?

I Don't have any STDs...
Come on, I'm begging on my knees,
Come on get close,
Just ignore the fleas.
We will take anything that walks...
Because we're desperate

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
56
56.111
01.- Chan chan Lyrics
Jim Croche Cat's in the Cradle Lyrics