My daughter needs a new phonograph.
She wore out all the needles.
Besides, I broke the old one in half.
I hate the Beatles.

She says they have a Liverpool beat.
She says they used to play there.
Four nice kids from offa the street.
Why didn't they stay there?

What is all the screaming about?
Fainting and swooning.
Sounds to me like their guitars
Could use a little tuning.

The boys are from the British Empire.
The British think they're keen.
If that is what the British desire,
God Save The Queen.

No daughter of mine can push me around.
In my home I'm the master.
But when the Beatles came into town,
Gad, what a disaster.

Little girls in sneakers and jeans.
Destroyed the territory.
'Twas like some of the gorier scenes
From West Side Story.

Of course my daughter had to go there.
The tickets are cheap, she hollers.
I was able to pick up a pair
For forty-seven dollars.

When the Beatles come on the stage,
They scream and shriek and cheer them.
Now I know why they're such a rage,
It's impossible to hear them.

Ringo is the one with the drum,
The others all play with him.
It shows you what a boy can become
Without a sense of rhythm

There's Beatle books and t-shirts and rings
And one thing and another
To buy my daughter all of these things
I had to sell her brother

Back in 1776,
We fought the British then, folks
Parents of America,
It's time to do it again

When they come back, here's how we'll begin
We'll throw 'em in Boston Harbor
But, please, before we toss 'em all in
Let's take 'em to a barber.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
57
57.75
T2 Heartbroken Lyrics
Pippin Corner of the Sky Lyrics