The other day I ran into an old friend
Joe was his name, so I said "Joe, how ya been"
He said "JR, you won't believe this but things ain't worth a d___"
And I said "Joe, what's the problem"
He said "JR, you wanna know my problem? Well I'll tell you my problem"
And he began a story something like this

All my life I've been single
I didn't wanna be tied down
But I finally did it, I finally got married
And the sass started going around
She was divorced and had three kids
They all had fair skin and blonde hair
But I didn't know their daddy was a n_____
And daddy just had to be there

Ah, what do you do when everything's messed up
Sticking down in your craw
Other men are lucky, all they have to agitate them
Is a doggone mother in law
But this black hairy dude living down at my house
Beats all you ever saw
I'm the sole breadwinner of a wife
And three pickaninnies and a n_____ in law

And he kept on talking and I just kept on listening
And he went on something like this

It all started last Friday evening
I got home from work, there he sat
Sitting there loafing, resting and smoking
Man, he was ace of spades black
I didn't know just who he was then
But it wasn't too long 'til I did
He said "don't get uptight, I got visiting rights
And came to see your wife and my kids"

Ah, what do you do when everything's messed up
Sticking down in your craw
Other men are lucky, all they have to agitate them
Is a doggone mother in law
But this black hairy dude living down at my house
Beats all you ever saw
I'm the sole breadwinner of a wife
And three pickaninnies and a n_____ in law

But he talked on
And I began to figure out that Joe had found a solution
He said

He was still there Saturday evening
Just watching me mow the lawn
He watched the game on Sunday
And the soaps on Monday
It's Tuesday and he still wasn't gone
Suddenly I got me an idea
And I came up with a plan
I turned my n_____ loving wife
And her n_____ ex-husband
Over to the Ku Klux Klan - he he

That's what you do when everything's messed up
Sticking down in your craw
Never again will I ever say a word
About anybody's mother in law
That n_____ bowed up when the Klan showed up
It was the last thing he ever saw
Now I'm the ex husband of a wife
With three pickaninnies and a n_____ in law

I'm the proud ex husband of a wife
With three pickaninnies and a n_____ in law

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