Andrew Lloyd Webber Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer Lyrics

SOLO (spoken):
Macavity!

MUNGOJERRIE:
Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
And Rumpleteazer

BOTH:
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

RUMPLETEAZER:
We have an extensive reputation

MUNGOJERRIE:
We make our home in Victoria Grove

BOTH:
That is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

RUMPLETEAZER:
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens

MUNGOJERRIE:
In Launceston Place

RUMPLETEAZER:
And in Kensington Square

BOTH:
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

RUMPLETEAZER:
If the area window is found ajar

MUNGOJERRIE:
Or the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

RUMPLETEAZER:
Which presently fails to be waterproof

BOTH:
If the drawers are pulled out from bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests

RUMPLETEAZER:
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"

BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that

BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab

MUNGOJERRIE:
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well

RUMPLETEAZER:
And remarkably smart at the smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove

MUNGOJERRIE:
We have no regular occupation

BOTH:
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family a__embles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner

MUNGOJERRIE:
On Argentine joint,

RUMPLETEAZER:
Potatoes and greens

BOTH:
Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes

MUNGOJERRIE:
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

RUMPLETEAZER:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"

BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie

RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"

BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that

BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a wonderful way
Of working together

RUMPLETEAZER:
And some of the time you would say it was luck

MUNGOJERRIE:
And some of the time you would say it was weather

BOTH:
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath

MUNGOJERRIE:
Was it Mungojerrie?

RUMPLETEAZER:
Or Rumpleteazer?

BOTH:
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

MUNGOJERRIE:
And when you hear a dining room smash

RUMPLETEAZER:
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash

MUNGOJERRIE:
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping

RUMPLETEAZER:
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming

BOTH:
Then the family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie *AND* Rumpleteazer!"

And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

--------------------------------------------
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffolees conjuring turn

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
They had an extensive reputation
Made their home in Victoria Grove
That was merely their center of operation
For they were incurable given to rove

If the area window was found ajar
And the basement looked like a field of war
If a tile or two came loose on the roof
Which presently ceased to be waterproof
If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls

Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab
They were highly efficient cat burgulars
As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab
They made their home in Victoria Grove
They had no regular occupation
They were plausible fellows who liked to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family a__embled for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
The joint has gone from the oven like that!"

Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way
Of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
They'd go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
When you heard a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"

Macavity