Cayuga's Waiters We Didn't Go To Harvard Lyrics

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray,
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio.
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe.

Dragon Days, Superman, Tiegel Hall, Big Red Band,
Hunter Rawlings, Ivy Room, too much beer, there goes my kyoom...
Dijon Burger, blue light, come home hammered every night,
Manos' Diner, Theory Center, pukin in your dorm room.

We didn't go to Harvard!
Well, it's not our style, plus we don't wear argyle.
We didn't go to Harvard!
But upon reflection, it's 'cause we have no connections.
We didn't go to Harvard!
No, we're not that c___y, and they can't play hockey.
(ooooooh)

Magic Johnson comes to town, workers took the pumpkin down,
Rockefeller, auto-teller, fun in the sun,
Day Hall, VBR, what the hell's a Whiskey Bar?
Dunbar's, Rulloff's, Cornell Daily Sun.
Penn sucks, so does Brown, CT Jammers comes to town,
Baker Tower, Uris Hall, take a bus to Pyramid Mall,
Co-op, stealing fruit, grossed out by the fork chute.
Freshman chicks, party mix, look at all those bouncing t__s!

We didn't go to Harvard!
No, we don't like crimson, 'cause we didn't get in.

Randy Stevens, Riley Robb, drive around in daddy's Saab,
State Street Diner, Huey Lewis, thirty feet of snow.
Poco Loco, stacks at Olin, Taco Bell, Ides for bowling,
North campus, west campus, aggies learn to hoe.

College town, Friday night? Read a book by E.B. White
Drink all night, sleep all day, don't let classes in the way,
Louie's Lunch kinda sucks, wait in line at Hot Truck,
Cornell night, slope days. No, the waiters aren't gay!
Course exchange, add/drop form, there's no drinking in the dorm
Mommy says, "Wear your fleece! Sign a real expensive lease!"
Six o'clock, Bell Tower, get into an after-hours,
Fake ID, take it away, what else do I have to say?

We didn't go to Harvard!
No we're not complaining, but it's always raining.
So we go to Cornell,
it's in the middle of nowhere, but we really don't care.
Here we are at Cornell!
We don't go to classes, we just sit on our a__es.
Here we are at Cornell:
{spoken} - Such Diversity in One University!
Here we are at Cornell,
and when we are gone, it will still go on and on and on and on and on....