Tobias:

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention
please!
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
to discover your pillow is covered with hair?
(???)

Well ladies and gentlemen,
from now on you can wake in a tease!
You need never again have a worry or care.
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare.

Gentlemen, you are about to see something arose from
the dirt
On the top of my head!

'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
That's what did the trick, sir.
true, sir, true
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir.
Just like an elixir ought to do.

How 'bout a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute,
Stimulatin, innit?
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week.

Sweeney Todd:
Pardon me ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Mrs. Lovett:
Are we standing near an open trench?

Sweeney Todd: (simultaniously)
Are we standing near an open trench?

Mrs. Lovett: (simultaniously)
Pardon me sir, what's that awful stench?

Tobias:
Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Anything will slick, sir,
Soothes bad curls (??)
Try Pirelli's, when they see how thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
of the girls!

Wanna buy a bottle, missus?

Sweeney Todd:
What is this?

Mrs. Lovett:
What is this?

Sweeney Todd:
Smells like p___

Mrs. Lovett:
Smells like EW

Sweeney Todd: (simultaniously)
Looks like p___

Mrs. Lovett: (simultaniously)
Wouldn't touch it if I was you dear

Sweeney Todd:
This is p___.
p___ with ink.

Tobias:
Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir

Sweeney Todd:
Keep it off your boots, sir
eats right through!

Tobias:
Yes, get Pirelli's
Use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it

Mrs. Lovett:
Flies do too.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
73
73.62
Barbra Streisand 03 Comin' In And Out Of Your L Lyrics
Were All In This Together Lyrics