Words: Tom Smith
From an idea by Steven Silver
Music: "Safety Dance"

I can spin if I want to,
I can leave your facts behind,
'Cause your facts don't spin and if they don't spin
Well, they're no facts o' mine.

I can yell if I want to,
My producer doesn't mind,
I can cut your mike and you can take a hike
And I'll shake my head and whine.

I can act like an a__hole,
Threaten everyone I see,
And a million shnooks buy each of my books
'Cause they wanna be just like me.

I can sue who I want to,
If it's bad they make me look
But I didn't bank on frickin' Al Franken
Sticking me in his book.

I can spin, I can spin,
Everything's under control,
I can spin, I can spin,
Long since sold my soul,
I can spin, I can spin,
Everybody boycott France,
I can spin, I can spin,
Nothing left to logic or cha-a-a-ance.

The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!

I disguise all my lying
By declaring a No-Spin Zone,
But if my audience were not so d___ dense
I'd be sittin' here all alone.

I tell you I'm a Factor
In the presidential race,
But if Stewart disproves it, I know we're gonna lose it,
And I'll fall on my face.

I can spin, I can spin,
Tell you who makes me sick,
Henry Quinn, Bill Clinton,
Gonna beat up Jeremy Glick,
I can spin, I can spin,
All the girls want in my pants,
I can spin, I can spin,
Nothing left to logic or cha-a-a-ance.

The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!

I can spin for my masters,
The Republicans in charge,
Sobbing like I'm caring, not a robber baron
Who enjoys his living large.

I can spin if I want to,
I can leave your facts behind,
'Cause your facts don't spin and if they don't spin
Well, they're no facts o' mine.

I can spin, I can spin,
On a blog, I'd be a troll,
Smarmy grin, double chin,
I'm fatuous but think I'm droll,
I can spin, I can spin,
Everyone believes my slants,
I can spin, I can spin,
Got falafel down my pa-a-a-ants!

The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!
The O'Reilly Dance -- SHUT UP!

CUT HIS MIKE!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
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75.20
Alanis Morissette Hands Clean (iTunes Originals Version) Lyrics
EXILE BEAT POPS Lyrics