My mother said
that I never should
never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

#chorus#
And thats why
I am a w___er
I am a w___er
And does it good like it b_____ well should
I am a w___er
I am a w___er
And im always pulling my pudd

I was 25 yeahrs old
before I was kissed
and then I found the guy prefered
a swift one off the wrist
Its cheap & convenient
and you cant catch VD
Its avalible at anytime & its absolutly free

#chorus#
And thats why
I am a w___er
I am a w___er
And it does me good like it b_____ well should
I am w___er
I am a w___er
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I have got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind

I have w___ed over Italy
I have w___ed over Spain
I have w___ed in an omibus
I have even had a w___ in a train

I have used a badger
and a lemon
and a cat
a inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a David Crocket hat

#chorus#
And thats why
I am a w___er
I am a w___er
and it does me good like it b_____ well should
I am a w___er
I am a w___er
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I have pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind

See also:
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