Beth O Caught With 4 Copies Of NY Post. 12/11/07. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Chyna Doll performing ''Holiday'' live in Howard's K-Rock studio, Christmas belching song performed live in Howard's K-Rock studio.
Howard started off the show saying that he just heard from Beth that they have a picture of her in Page Six walking down the street with four copies of the paper for everyone that was in the picture of them from over the weekend. She was kind of upset about that. Howard said that the paparazzi stand outside their building waiting for Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck since they live in their building now. He said that they get him when he walks out of the building as well.

Howard said that the press camps out waiting for Ben and Jennifer and they get anything that they can even if they just go to a hardware store. Robin said that they do stuff like that to show that they're ''normal'' so everyone knows that they're doing the same kind of the things that everyone else does.

Howard said that he thought it was kind of funny that they caught Beth with the paper in her bad. He's not sure why the press is still covering Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner though. It's unbelievable to see the media storm that happens with people like that. He said that the press camp out in groups of like 20 and they push each other around to get pictures.

Howard said that Ben and Jennifer are in town because Jen is doing a play or something. He hears all of the stuff that they're doing from the doormen. They know their every move. He said it's like they brought down a plague on his block in the city. He said he now knows why the co-op boards block famous people from getting into their buildings.

Howard said the photographers get bored and when they see him and Beth come out, they have something to do. He said that they yell at them like they're denying them a living or something when he comes out. If he's looking his s___tiest, he doesn't want his picture taken. Robin told him that he did the worst thing by creating the Howard 100 News there at SIRIUS. Howard said that was a mistake and he'd like to get rid of them but he finds it all amusing at points.

Robin said that she heard them running a promo for fans to let them know if they see her out on a date with Jim Florentine. She said that was just crazy.

Lisa G's Cookie Party Show Clips. 12/11/07. 6:05am
Robin mentioned Lisa G's cookie party so Howard played some clips from the show they ran on Saturday night. Benjy and Ivy Supersonic were there so Howard played some clips of Jason and Lisa G interviewing them. It was so noisy there that they could barely hear anything in there. There was some annoying music playing so Howard asked what that was about. Gary said they were playing that when people would come into the party and it would play a little too long.
Benjy and Ivy were asked what they were wearing and Lisa pointed out the handcuffs that Ivy had on. She was wearing them like bracelets. Ivy started to explain why she was wearing them. Howard said that Benjy is a better man than he is. He said that she goes on and on when she's asked a question. Benjy said that he enjoys that and they have some good conversations.

Howard said that someone was saying that Benjy is lucky to be getting Ivy. Sal came in and said that Ivy sends him text messages all day long. He read one where she said that she wants Benjy to get hair plugs and she knows a guy who can do it for him. She wanted to get Artie and Richard involved with it. He wasn't sure why she was telling him that though. He said he's got his own problems to deal with. Sal said he's known her for years and he kept getting messages from her to get her tickets to see Dice Clay and things like that.

Benjy said that Sal didn't come through for her. Sal told Benjy that he hopes that p____ is worth it because she's a pain in the a__. Howard asked if she's still got a clothing line. Benjy said that she's still doing that. Howard asked if she's got a lot of famous friends. He said that they went to a billionaire's party the other day and that was cool. He said she also had a friend come over to pick up an old bed and he was into Palladians (aliens) and stuff like that. No one knew what Benjy was talking about.

Howard said that Benjy was hard enough to deal with on the air and now he's going to start acting like Ivy and it'll make things even worse. He asked him what he thinks about her wanting to change him so much. Benjy said he wants to change her too so they're both doing that. Benjy said that she wants to get his teeth fixed and Howard told him that his teeth are fine so he's not sure what that's all about. He said that his teeth are the least of his problems. He said that he weighs 300 pounds. Fred said that it's like putting a pink bow on a pig.

Howard said that Ivy is an artist so she must be trying to improve things. That's what Benjy was trying to say about all of these changes that she's trying to make.

Howard asked if there was anything worth listening to from the cookie party. JD was the one who pulled clips and said there really wasn't anything that great in there. Howard looked through the clips and found one where they had Lisa's annoying friend come over to say a few words. She put Q-Tips in her chocolate chip cookies to keep people's fingers from getting messy. Her voice was a little annoying so Howard cut that off.

Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about the cookie party and some of the people that Lisa had invited to it. She had invited Alec Baldwin because Ralph Howard from Howard 100 News knows him through his wife. Alec didn't show up though.

Racist Or Not Racist. 12/11/07. 6:20am
Howard said that the owner of the team that Michael Vick plays for, the Falcons, said something kind of odd. He played a clip of the guy saying that Vick could come back and saying that he could never come back could be wrong. He said that if he eats a lot of fried chicken and fries that he may not be able to come back. Howard thought it sounded a little racist but Robin didn't think it was. He said that it was just him saying that it was an inappropriate diet. Howard said that if he had said fried chicken and watermelon then maybe it would be racist.
Howard said that he's black himself and he's offended by that comment. He said that he has black friends who don't eat fried chicken.

Robin said she heard a quote from a guy who was up for parole for killing some police officer and they were saying that ''these are evil subhumans'' when they were talking about this black guy. She said that kind of came across racist to her.

Creepy Oprah Rally For Barak Obama Discussed. 12/11/07. 6:25am
Howard said that Robin played some clips from the Oprah Winfrey rally for Barak Obama and then read some stuff about that yesterday. He said that some guy was saying that when Oprah brings some guy out she paints him to be ''the one'' that's going to be their savoir. Howard said that he agrees with him on that because she really does make it seem like he is some kind of savior. Robin said that you really don't learn anything about the guy in a rally like that, it's just a pep rally for someone that she's supporting.
Howard said that this guy's name was Rich Lowry and he hit it right on the head with this article he wrote. He said that he'd like to learn more about this Obama guy but he can't get to know him with these rallies like Oprah is throwing.

Howard said that he read that Oprah's ratings are down by 20 percent and she's trying to get them back up. He read some more stuff from this article about the rally and she was saying some very bizarre things. He said that she's like the Oracle from The Matrix with some of the things she says. He goofed on her about that for a short time.

Howard said that they've gone through this kind of thing with the Kennedy's back in the 60s. Now Oprah is trying to get this going with Barak Obama. Howard said that there's something real disturbing about this whole thing.

Howard And Beth's Relationship Discussed. 12/11/07. 6:30am
Howard said he was going to take some phone calls after that. He said that they have a bunch of people coming in today as well. The first caller wanted to know if any girls have ever fought over him. There was an article about Steven Tyler having a couple of chicks arguing over him. Howard said he started to read that but he got bored and didn't finish it.
Howard said that he thinks that he and Beth don't look like an odd couple. The caller made a sound like he didn't believe that. Howard said that he doesn't get that jarring feeling when he sees himself in a picture with Beth. Robin said that's because he's used to it. Howard said that Robin is the one who's supposed to be telling him when he looks too old for her. He said that she's getting up there in age, she's 35, so she should be hitting the wall soon. Artie muttered that she should be thrilled to hear that.

The caller asked if Howard and Beth ever go to bed mad at each other. Howard said they really don't, but he will ask her not to talk about something that upsets him before he goes to bed. He has to do that to keep from staying up all night with something bothering him.

Howard said that he once locked himself in a bathroom after Beth got a massage from a dude at a hotel they were staying in. He refused to talk to her or let her in but she eventually convinced him to let her in. He said that he's really not a fighter and he can't do that in his personal life. He lets everything out on the air though. He said that he'll be fine with something off the air but then he'll get on the air and try to hurt the people he loves. He said he's making real progress with his psychiatrist.

Howard said he asked his shrink yesterday when he's going to be better and if he'll ever get out of therapy. He said that the guy implies that he's going to be in therapy for the rest of his life.

Oprah Clips And Phone Calls. 12/11/07. 6:35am
The guys gave Howard some of the Oprah clips that he had played yesterday during the news so he could replay them. That led to Robin and Howard talking about what a kook Oprah is. Howard had Oprah talking about what a great man this Barak Obama is and how they need him to be their President. Howard said that he wishes that someone would talk about him like that.
Howard found the clip where Oprah was talking about Obama as though he was ''the one'' and said that it's really creepy. He said that the reality is that there is no ''one'' out there. He said that there isn't anyone in this country who can even rule on this merger between the satellite companies. He said that it's condescending to try and tell people that there is just ''one'' like she was doing.

Howard took another phone call from a guy who said that he had a request to hear a prank call that Richard made to a pharmacy. Howard said he'd get that on later. The caller also thanked Howard for another awesome year of radio. He was ready to sign up for another year. Howard thanked him for that. He said that next year they're just going to go comatose and sleep for the year.

the caller also asked Howard for less Eric the Midget next year. Howard said that he's fascinated by him and he has to have him on. He was actually waiting on hold to talk about his script so he might have to pick up on that.

The caller asked Howard how he's doing with his chess games and Howard said that he's kind of dipped down a bit in his score lately. He said he has to play at the right time and he has to be into it.

KC Armstrong Calls In. 12/11/07. 6:45am
Howard had KC Armstrong on the phone. KC had to spit out his chewing tobacco before he said anything. Howard said that he's down in Rio or something. KC said he's not there yet. He said that there's this Rio Heroes fight that's on tonight. Howard Stern fans can see it for free tonight. Just go to RioHeroes.com.
KC also told Howard that he has a chess set of his own and it's all shot glasses. He told Howard it's great for getting chicks drunk.

Howard said that they can't do this fighting that they're talking about here in this country, they have to do it in Rio in a place that they can't mention. Howard said that it's something illegal that KC is involved with. KC said that it's only illegal here in this country.

KC said that he made this barbecue the other day and he thought that it was one of these charcoal bags that you light but it turns out that it was a regular bag of charcoal and he wasn't able to put the fire out. He ended up putting it into the dumpster there at his apartment building and caught that on fire. The next thing he knew there was a helicopter flying overhead.

KC said that Leticia Cline is upset with him because he was doing some wrestling moves with her and he had a b____. He said she was also asking him why she had to wear a bikini while they were doing that.

Howard said that KC is continuing to survive out there doing this stuff. He gave him some plugs for this fight thing that he's doing. KC said they have a live fight and a replay of another fight that happened a while ago where a guy almost lost an eye.

KC wished everyone a happy holiday. Howard wished him good luck getting into Leticia Cline's pants. He wanted some pointers from Howard but it sounds like he was doing just fine on his own. Howard found out that KC was teaching Leticia the wrestling moves in his own apartment. KC said that he really did have her in her bikini and he told her to do that so they could pretend that they were doing an intermission thing. He was teaching her the wrestling stuff so she'd know what she was commentating on.

Howard said that maybe KC is getting ugly and he's got to do creepy stuff like every other creepy guy has to do. KC didn't want to hear that. He said they already said that he's getting ugly. KC said that he used to be able to just whip out his p____ and show it to the girls and they'd be fine with that.

KC said that when he popped his rod he was just wearing jogging pants and a t-shirt. Howard and the guys wished KC luck with everything. KC was out in the parking lot of his girlfriend's place out in Costa Mesa. He didn't want her to hear any of that Leticia story.

Howard let KC go after that and said that he may watch that fight tonight. He's not sure if it's even legal to watch it here in this country though.

Bubba To Do Two Shows A Day, One On Terrestrial Radio. 12/11/07. 6:55am
Howard said that they have this guy Zeb Atlas coming in today. He's a gay p___ star who claims to be straight. Howard said that he wants to know how a guy jerks another guy off and claims to be straight. Howard also said that Lisa Lampanelli is coming in to ask the audience to pressure the Grammy people to vote her as a winner with her nomination.
Howard said that he heard that Bubba isn't allowed to talk about something that's going on with his show but the news is already out there down in Tampa. He said he wasn't sure if he was allowed to talk about it. JD came in and said that he heard that Bubba is going to be on some terrestrial station. Gary said that it was in Radio and Record this morning so it was okay to talk about it.

Howard said that Bubba wanted to get on a couple of regular radio so he's going to be doing morning shows on terrestrial and then doing an afternoon show on SIRIUS. Howard said he hopes that he has the energy to do that because if he doesn't, he may end up getting fat again and having a woman wipe his a__ with a towel. Artie said that whole conversation yesterday really affected him and he can't let himself get that way.

Howard said that he was telling everyone about the a__ wiping thing yesterday. Beth told him that she wouldn't even do that for him if he got fat. She said that she'd do it for him if he got sick, not if he got fat. Robin said that she can't imagine doing that either. She said that's crazy. h___d said that the craziest people in this world are the ones around the giant fat people who are helping them out.

Artie said that Bubba actually cheated on that chick who was wiping his a__ like that. He said that guys are just f___ed up.

Howard said that they have the Howard Stern History shows starting next week. He mentioned that and the Hottest Chick, Smallest b______ contest that's coming up tomorrow. He said that he's not that into b______ that he needs something there. He said that he's never had a super flat chested chick but he's not so into b___s that he has to have something there to date one. He said he doesn't waste time with b______, he's a v_____ man. He said ''plug me in!'' as he was talking about that. Howard said that he likes to kiss but he likes to stick it in the most. He had to go to break a short time later.

Howard Reads Some E-Mail. 12/11/07. 7:10am
After the break Howard came back and read some e-mail. The first e-mail said that the show keeps getting better after all these years. There was also some feedback about what Sal and Richard did to George Takei when they pulled him aside and make him record the songs. There was also a lot of feedback about Janice d___inson's appearance yesterday. A lot of fans were p___ed about her being on and they were annoyed with her voice and many other things she was doing.
Howard said there were no positive e-mails about Janice at all. Robin said that she was like the opposite of George Takei. Howard read through some mail about Scott the Engineer's comedy debut out in Cleveland. some people think he should keep going. Some people thought the show was bad but even Scott wasn't the worst. Howard read that Jim Florentine was booed off stage out there. Howard said that Jim is good and he can't imagine that he was booed off.

Howard read an e-mail from a woman who said that her husband was talking about quitting his job just so he could listen to the History of Howard Stern. He wasn't going to be able to listen at work so Howard told the guy to just go ahead and quit.

Shuli's Howard 100 News Preview. 12/11/07. 7:15am
Howard read some feedback about Shuli and Double A's argument audio clip from yesterday. Some fans said that Shuli should be fired and Double A should be banished from the show. There were other people who said that Shuli is great and it was like Howard took a s___ on him. Howard said that he doesn't feel that way at all.
Howard said that Shuli is filling in for Lisa G today so he had him come in with a Howard 100 News preview. Shuli said that she's just out on a personal day. Shuli said that he didn't think that Howard s___ on him yesterday at all.

Shuli said that they have some news about Lisa's cookie party and they found out that Ross Zaipen finally came clean and said that he did buy his cookies and didn't make them himself like he had claimed he did. Howard said he knew it and the guy is a liar even though he's coming forward now. He said that someone else could have won that prize and had some fun with it.

There were also some people who were upset with Richie from SIRIUS who said that someone else had made his cookies for him. Howard said that's bullshit and these guys were supposed to make their own cookies. He said that he doesn't like it and if he ever sees Ross, he'll say something to him.

Shuli said that they have a story about Richard and his girlfriend going to a hotel to get tucked in by some elves. Richard's girlfriend is going along with it but Artie thinks that she's just going along with it for Richard and she's really not into it. Howard let Shuli go after he mentioned that Mary Carey's breast implants are up for sale on eBay this week.

Music Discussions And More E-Mail. 12/11/07. 7:20am
Howard read some mail about this song he played last week with some BB King clips in it. A fan wondered hat the name of the song was so Howard gave it out. It was by the Primitive Radio Gods and the song is called ''Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand.'' Howard played some of the song after that. He said he didn't know what the guy was saying. He didn't know if the name of the song was even in the song. Howard said the song is awesome but he's pretty sure they never did another great song again.
Howard said that he's been watching this new show where they try to find a great rock band. He said that they have some people similar to the people on American Idol judging the bands. He said that the saddest thing to see is these people who are in their 30s and just never make it as rock bands. He said it's really sad to see this one guy with a weird hair cut and wearing belly shirts way past his time.

Howard said that being a rock star like the Rolling Stones are rock stars is cool. If you never make it, it's just not cool to dress in wild clothes and have weird hair cuts. Gary said that he's kind of into that show and he's been enjoying it.

Gary said that there are some kids on that show who are beating the older guys on the show. He said it's kind of funny to see that happening.

Howard thought he got some negative e-mail about George Takei but it turns out the guy was just trying to ruin his perfect record for getting positive feedback. The guy actually liked George and wants him to be on even more.

Howard read some more mail about Fred and his sound effects. The fans are still enjoying the way he does his job and praised his work.

Howard said that there were some people who were upset with him for telling Ricki Lake to lose 10 more pounds. He read through some of those. He said that he wasn't trying to be a d___head, he was trying to help. He said he told her that she was amazing looking but she could look even better with the extra 10 pounds taken off. Someone suggested that Howard cover up those chicken-like arms of his if he's going to make suggestions like that to his guests. Howard had to go to break a short time later.

Benjy's Disgusting Computer And Chuck Zito Show Clips. 12/11/07. 7:35am
After the break we heard some prank calls that Richard and Sal made to a public access call in show. Fred also played some Red Hot Chili Peppers ''Suck My Kiss'' as they were coming back. Howard came back a short time later and said that Fred seems to like those guys because he plays them a lot. Howard said they also sing this ''20th Century Booey'' song and played the 20th Century Fox theme song with Sal singing a Baba Booey song parody to that tune.
Howard said that he was listening to Chuck Zito's show from the other night. He said that guy is really interesting to him. He wanted to play some clips from the show but also wanted to get this guy Zeb Atlas in there.

Howard got sidetracked and said that this guy Jeff Shick from IBM has been helping them out over the years with their computers. Jeff came to them recently and said that he can't help Benjy out. He said that he's never refused to work on anything until now. Benjy's computer is full of food, grease, dirt and filth. Howard asked Benjy what he's doing.

Gary said that Jeff told him that it's really disgusting and he's not even sure what it is. The mouse is all sticky and he's not sure what it is. Benjy said that he hasn't been too neat with it and he's sorry about that. Gary said that he should have done a pre-clean or something. Benjy said that he does eat constantly when he's on the computer. He said he knows how disgusting it is. He figures that there's even j__z on there.

Benjy said that over the years there could be some j__z there. He said that he has probably jerked off in front of the computer.

Howard gave up on Benjy and moved on to play some chuck Zito show clips. In the first clip Chuck was talking about being at a party and having some girl come up and rub up against him. He said that this chick just came up to him and started rubbing on him while wearing just a nightgown. He said that she put her legs around his waist and it was some Asian girl. He decided to take her back to his room and wound up having a good time with her. He said she turned out to be a psycho though.

Chuck said that he finished with the chick and wanted to go to sleep but she wanted more. He said it was time to sleep but she wanted to get some food. He told her to go get something if she wanted or she could just stay there. chuck said she started blowing him again and she bit him. He warned her that if she did that again she was going to lose some teeth. Then he got a call from room service confirming an order she put in for food. He denied it and then kicked her out of the room.

chuck took a call from a guy who was calling him a f__ when he called in. chuck said that these guys are ''telephone tough guys'' and they don't have the b____ to do that in person.

Howard had a couple of other clips to play and asked the guys what they wanted to hear. He had one where Chuck talks about banging a hostess on his birthday. In the clip he talks about going to dinner at this restaurant and sees this hot chick hostess at the place. He took her out because it was her birthday and she was turning 30. He said he had to take her out because at midnight she'd be too old for him. Her boss came over and asked her what she was doing so chuck asked him if he had a problem with him having coffee with him. The boss said it was fine and even let her off early from dinner. He took her out to see The Producers and then took her to Planet Hollywood and back to his apartment. He banged her when she was still 29 and then when she was 30 so he was her last at 29 and first at 30. Howard said that's like going to that place where you can step on the four corners of 4 different states.

Howard played another clip where Chuck took a call and the guy asked him about a fight he went to. Chuck told the guy he went to this fight and took pictures with fans and did some walking around with the fans. He was told he couldn't go into the fight with his Hells Angels jacket on but he kept it on and had the cops called on him. They ended up calling the cops and had about 40 guys come in to make him leave the fight.

Howard wondered if he should play more of these clips but JD told him he could move on, they weren't all that great.

Straight Or Gay p___ Actor Zeb Atlas Visits. 12/11/07. 7:55am
Howard said they have this guy Zeb Atlas there. He's in gay p___ movies but he claims to be straight. The guy came in and Robin said that he's a good looking guy. Robin said that if he's having s__ with guys in the movies, he's not straight. Howard said that he's trying to understand how this works.
Howard said that Zeb has been doing gay p___ for 6 years now. He asked him about his history and found out that he was discovered by some guy who wanted to photograph him. He said that he'd get paid like $500 to have his picture taken, not even nude. He said this guy eventually offered him more and more money to do stuff and that's what led to this gay stuff.

Howard asked Zeb when the gay stuff started. He said that he and a friend used to look at p___ and would beat off at the same time. He said that they were looking at women though. Howard read that he was a personal trainer at one point and had guys trying to touch him. Zeb said that was after he started doing the photographs and stuff.

Howard asked Zeb what he wanted to do for a living. Zeb said he wanted to be a personal trainer but that whole thing kind of went away and he didn't have a job. He said he was doing this jacking off stuff on camera but not working with other guys doing gay stuff. He thought that women were going to buy the stuff he was doing, he didn't know that it was going to be all gay men buying these videos.

Zeb said that he's been offered some good money to do movies like this and once got an offer for $30,000. He said that he hasn't fully jacked off a guy but he has touched c___. Robin was laughing her a__ off when she heard some of this stuff.

,Howard said that Zeb told their screener that he had a friend who used to blow him when he was a kid. Zeb said that when he was 10 or 12 he had a 15 year old friend that he looked up to and the guy would want to go down on him. He said he didn't know that he was jacking off after he left. He said that he would get blown by him and that went on for a couple of years. Artie said that was an enormous amount of time to be doing something like that. Zeb said it was probably once a month or so though, not all the time. Artie got a laugh out of that. Zeb said he never came though, he hadn't started doing that yet.

Howard asked Zeb about these masturbation videos that he was doing and how they asked him to go a little further eventually. Zeb said that in the latest one there are two guys who nude wrestle for the chance to be with him. They end up at a draw so both of them get him. He said that the guys both massage him and unbeknownst to him, they go for him and start jacking him off. He said that they all c__ and he has a guy c__ on him. He said that the guy finishes on his chest.

Howard asked if they kiss. Zeb said that they all get in the shower and clean off but don't kiss. Robin asked if he's kissed guys. Zeb got all shy and said that ''Oh Robin...'' and eventually said that he has kissed guys while being jacked off or while he's jacking them off.

Zeb said that he has jerked guys off but he's never blown a guy. He said that he's never been blown on film either. He said he is working up to that though. Artie asked what kind of relationship he has with women. Zeb said that he does date women.

Zeb said that he's a millionaire from all of this. He gets good money to get jacked off by other dudes. He said that he's sold over 3000 copies of his movies in a year so it's building up for him. Howard wanted to know what kind of money he could make doing this if he started out in the business. Zeb said that there's quite a bit of money there. He said that a solo video can sell 3000 copies. Howard wondered how he can be a millionaire if that's the case. Zeb said that the videos are his own and he can make some good money selling each video.

Howard and Robin asked what kind of stuff he does when he gets paid to go out on dates with guys. He said that guys will pay to take him out and they will blow him but he won't blow them. Artie asked him if he's in the same society that they're in.

Howard said that his verdict is that he's gay, he's heard enough at this point. He told him that today is the day to just admit that he's gay. He then asked him what it would cost him to take him out for the evening. Howard said that if he wanted to jack off and blow him, how much? Zeb kept asking for details like if he wanted to spend the night and cuddle and stuff. Zeb said that the most he's ever been offered is $10,000.

Zeb claims that he has a girlfriend and she's a p___ star by the name of Devon Michaels. He said that she was on Howard's show at some point. He said he has s__ with her daily when he's home in Las Vegas.

Howard asked Zeb if he would ever take a___ if he was offered enough money. He said that he's had stuff up his a__ and it's not that enjoyable for him. He said his girlfriend likes to stick things up there so that's what he's basing that on. He said that she sticks toys and beads and stuff like that up there.

Gary came in and said that they're trying to figure this out. He said that if a guy can get aroused for another dude, that means that you're at least bi-s__ual. Howard asked him if he's from a strict family or something that's very anti-gay. Zeb said that's not the case at all. He never even went to church as a child.

Zeb said that he got an offer from a guy after he placed an ad as a personal trainer and the guy offered to blow him so he just went along with it. Howard said that this is some wild stuff. He asked if his parents know about what he does. He said that his mother doesn't have a computer but she does ask when he's going to get a ''real job.'' He said that he's pretty well set for life and he doesn't really need to get a real job.

Robin asked him if he's planning on going all the way in any of his movies. He said that he may do some kissing and body contact. As he said that Fred played a clip from ''Deliverance'' where Ned Beatty is squealing like a pig.

Artie asked Zeb if he's ever gotten mad at a guy and beaten him up over going too far. He said he never has. Howard asked him if he's ever eaten a__ or had his a__ eaten. He said that he has had his a__ eaten out before.

Howard went on to play a clip from one of Zeb's movies where he and his roommate jerk each other off after having some beer and watching a movie. They put in a video and then end up watching it and both of them get turned on and start jerking off.

Howard went around the room and asked the guys what they think, is Zeb gay or not. Fred said that he's probably 90 percent gay. Artie aids that there's nothing wrong with it but he is a gay guy. Howard said that he thinks he's dreaming about men at night. Robin said that she thinks that he's an 80/20 bi-s__ual guy with 80 percent gay.

Howard had Wood Yee (Audio clips) on the phone and he told him to spit on him and make him wet. He was trying to have phone s__ with him. That led to the two of them having a few seconds of phone s__ and Wood Yee had blown his load within a few seconds.

Howard let Wood Yee go and took a call from Ralph who asked what act he'd find to be gay. Zeb said that all of this stuff he's doing is gay but he's not gay himself. He said he's never had gay s__ with a man. A phone caller said that this guy isn't gay at all and they should put him on with Chuck Zito. The guys all got a laugh out of that suggestion.

Howard gave Zeb a plug for his web site ZebAtlas.com and asked him how long he can stay in the business. Zeb said he's 37 now and he sees himself doing it for a couple more years. Artie was doing some math and figured that selling those videos wasn't making him millions. Zeb said that it's the private parties that are making him the good money. So is his web site. He didn't say how many of these private parties he's doing though. Artie said that maybe when he's done with his stand-up career he can move on to something like this. Zeb told him that he'd have to be groomed a little bit for that.

Artie wanted to know what Richard thought about all of this because he's said that he'd go gay stuff for work. Richard came in and said that he's absolutely not gay but then said he was kidding and he's actually flaming. Richard said he's never been blown by a guy himself. Artie told him that Zeb is at least getting paid to do this, Richard just does it as a goof.

The Howard TV guys played some video of Richard licking Sal's b____ and asked Zeb who is gayer. Zeb said that was pretty gay right there so maybe he's the gay one.

Howard spent a couple more minutes trying to understand this but he said he couldn't figure it out. He said he had a guy ask him to jerk him off when he was a kid but he only went as far as to put his hand on his p____ and then pulled away and said it didn't feel right. He had another friend who wanted to jerk off in the same room but he didn't want anything to do with that either.

Howard asked Zeb if he's been with more men than women. He said he has but only because of work. He has a girlfriend too so he's only with her when it comes to women. He said that she's very good at b_______s and she likes everyone to know that because she doesn't want guys out there giving him better ones.

Howard asked Zeb what the strangest situation is that he's been in. Zeb said that there have been guys who want him to be the coach in high school or something like that. He said that's the weirdest stuff he's had. Howard asked Zeb if he would blow a guy for $50,000. Zeb said that was a good question and he'd have to think about it.

Richard asked Zeb if he thinks that Howard is a little gay for watching him and Sal licking nuts. Zeb said that he just wants to see how far they're willing to go. Richard thinks that Howard is like the guy in the videos sitting in the corner jerking off though.

Howard took a call from Mark the Bagger (audio clips) who was asking him some goofing questions. They had clips of Mark asking how he can rape an 11 year old without being caught. Howard cut them off after that and gave Zeb some plugs for his web site. Richard asked Robin if she wanted to have Zeb take his shirt off. Robin said she wasn't going to ask but Zeb said he'd do it for Richard.

Zeb took his shirt off and Howard said the guy is massive. He asked how many days he has to work out. He said he works out just about every day for about an hour. He said he does cardio in the morning and then does some working out in the gym and some yoga.

Richard was asking Zeb some questions and Artie said that he's clearly turned on by this guy. Richard said that you have to admire someone who gets into that kind of shape. Howard wanted him to touch him but Richard refused to do that, he didn't want to touch his chest or anything.

Howard told Richard to show Zeb his p____. Richard said he'd do that but he didn't want to do it. Richard whipped it out and Zeb told him that was definitely a p____. Artie told him to show him his a__ too. Howard told him to go ahead and do that so Zeb played along and asked to see it. Richard showed that to him and showed him his hemorrhoid.

Howard asked Zeb about using steroids because the guy was so big he couldn't have gotten that way without it. Zeb didn't really admit to it but did kind of hint that maybe he did have some help. He said that he also puts in a lot of work to make himself look the way he does.

Howard asked Richard to get a lap dance from Zeb. Richard hesitated but did agree to do that for him. Fred played some dance music and Zeb danced for him. Artie was saying ''Oh my god!'' over and over again. Zeb had his pants off and Richard looked like he was into it according to Artie. Howard told Richard to take his pants off while he was getting the lap dance but he refused to do that. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.

Comedian Lisa Lampanelli Visits. 12/11/07. 8:50am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made using Steve Grillo audio clips. Fred played some John Lennon ''Watching the Wheels'' as they were coming back. Howard said that Lisa Lampanelli was there and she was up for a Grammy with her comedy album. Lisa came in a short time later. He said that she's all glamorize these days and that could be a problem if she gets caught up in that. Lisa said that won't be a problem, if she stops being funny she'll stop dressing up and go back to being fat.
Lisa said that she owns a house out in Tucson, Arizona where she rests. She said that she has a few guys out there that she dates, but doesn't bang. She said that she's healthy and very happy at this point. She said that this year was very bad and very good for her. She had a bad break up this year but she's also having a great luck with her career.

Lisa said that she's still going out with black guys and she can't get away from that. She said that she actually banged a pro football player. She said that he's not a starter but he is on a pro team. She said that he tracked her down through her web site and asked her to a game. She said that she was in the area at the time and she went down to visit the guy in Philly when he was there. She said that she had friends there but she really didn't have any, she just wanted to be with this guy.

Lisa said that she had to go to pick him up and back to a hotel room with him in that narrow 3 hour window of time that they have to mess around. She said that the guy is in his 20s and that would be weird to have a relationship because she's 46 and she knows that it would be weird in 20 years. She said it would end up looking like Driving Miss Daisy.

Lisa said that the players aren't allowed to have women in their rooms so she had to go to another room with the guy. She said that they can be fined for doing stuff like that. She said that she doesn't waste time with guys and she just told him ''lets go'' and went back to his room.

Lisa said that it was really hot to have a pro player run out to her Toyota Camry while there are tons of people standing there waiting to get his autograph. She said that it was so hot when he ran out there. She said that the guy is a southern guy and he was really cute too.

Lisa said that she had never had an NFL player before so she told him that they just had to go for it. She said that they went to this Courtyard by Marriott hotel room and went at it. She said that he banged her immediately. She said that she stinks in bed so he just did his thing and that was it. She said that it wasn't just straight f___ing though.

Lisa said that this guy's p____ curved in an odd way but she didn't say anything to him about it. She said that it curved up in a way that was very uncomfortable. She said it was actually painful afterward so she may not do him again. Howard said that was a shame, he feels bad for the guy. Artie said that it was probably bent from all of the chicks he bangs.

Lisa said that this guy went at it for a good 45 minutes or so. She said that the black guys can really last a long time. Howard asked her how much time they spent together after that bang. She said that he didn't have a lot of time to screw around so she had to drive him back to the other hotel after they were done. She said that she's going to Chicago in January so she may see her again out there.

Lisa said that this guy gave her tickets for a game that he was going to be playing the next day. She wasn't really in town because she was driving home to Connecticut to see her family up there. She said it was very weird to do that too. Lisa said that this guy is really cute but she didn't want to say who he was because he may have a girlfriend.

Howard said that Lisa is up for a Grammy and he remembers going to the Grammy's with Sam Kinison one year. He ended up losing to PDQ Bach which was insane at the time. Sam was out of his mind at the time because of that. He said that the people who vote probably don't even listen to the albums. Lisa said that she's up against Steven Wright, George Lopez, Harry Shearer and Flight of the Conchords. She said that she wouldn't mind losing to any of them other than the Flight of the Conchords guys. She said that they're all hip and cool and there's nothing she likes less than hip and cool.

Lisa said that she's not even sure who votes on this stuff and she's not sure who to plead her case to. She said that there are some people who will vote for her just because she's on Warner Brothers records. She said that hey could just throw her a f___in' bone and give her a win because she's a 46 year old woman.

Howard asked Lisa about doing the Gene Simmons roast. She told Howard about hanging out with Shannon Tweed and how she came up with the idea to roast Gene after the Flavor Flav roast. She said that Shannon wanted to do it with Carrot Top doing the roast. She said she had to talk her out of that. She said that she likes Carrot Top but he's not a good roaster.

Lisa said that they went to do the roast and they called her and told her that it was a non-paid roast. She said that she was only going to do it because Donald Trump, Cher and Steven Tyler were going to be there. It turned out that none of them showed up and they didn't have any big people like that there.

Lisa said that A&E is a mess. They're the ones who set up all of this stuff because they were doing it for Gene's reality TV show. She said that the whole thing went down hill and down hill as the guys were all coming in and roasting him. Lisa said that Gene was walked into the room wearing those big KISS boots that he wears. She said that he got on stage and went to do a tongue thing and he fell over so they had to shoot the whole thing over again.

Lisa said that Danny Bonaduce came in and was more well behaved than Steve-O was. Steve-O peed on stage 3 times that night and ended up getting kicked out. She said that he peed on the stage, then he peed in a Poland Spring bottle and then into a cup. She said that she was afraid to pick up a cup because it might have pee in it.

Lisa said that the roast turned out to be okay, it wasn't all that bad. She said that they were doing it for charity and it was pretty sweet.

Lisa told Howard some of the jokes she told about Gene. She said that Gene's face has been more roughed up than the Students at Oprah's school in Africa. She also said that she hasn't seen hair that nappy since the girls at Rutgers. Lisa also threw in some jokes about Danny Bonaduce and some of the other guys there. She told some jokes about Craig Gass who was also at the roast. She said that when she saw him there she figured that Frank Caliendo had said no to that roast.

Lisa said that Gene Simmons has a s__uality about him and she can see why 5000 women banged him. She said that sadly 4900 of them looked like Carrot Top.

Howard got back to the Grammy thing and said that he hopes that she wins. Lisa said that if the fans were allowed to vote, she might win. She said that Lopez could win but all of his fans are illegal Mexicans so they're not allowed to vote. Howard said that he remembers sitting there with Sam and how upset he was when he didn't win.

Howard gave Lisa some plugs for some upcoming gigs she has. She's at the Borgata in Atlantic City on New Year's Eve. She said that she's also going to be at Carnegie Hall next spring and tickets go on sale for that on March 28th.

Howard gave Lisa a plug for her web site InsultComic.com and talked to her about why she doesn't use her name for her web site. she said that people have trouble spelling her last name. Howard wished her luck with the Chicago Bears guy that she banged and then went to break.

Artie Enjoys His Lucky Burger. 12/11/07. 9:30am
After the break we heard a Jack and Rod Show bit with Sal and Richard jerking around a random fan they called and had playing a game on their phony show. Fred also played some Stevie Wonder ''higher Ground.'' Howard wondered why he can't write a hit song anymore.
Artie came in with a Lucky Burger hamburger and milk shake. It turns out that Howard's friend Pat Minokia is involved with them in some way and he sent some stuff up to them. Artie said that it might be the best meal ever. A burger and a shake are the best. He showed the burger to everyone and let Howard describe it. Artie said that it tasted like a great cheeseburger. Gary said he's not sure what Pat's affiliation is with the place, he just sent that stuff up for Artie. The store is called Lucky's Famous. Artie said that it was really good.

Danielle, This Month's Miss Howard TV, Visits. 12/11/07. 9:35am
Howard said that the Howard TV guys have a Miss Howard TV thing going on and you can do online auditions. They had this Month's Miss Howard TV come in after that. Her name is Danielle Demarco and she's in the Benjy Yule Log special that's on Howard TV. Howard said that she's so hot that she's marriage material.
Howard asked Danielle what she does for a living. she's a hair stylist. She said that she doesn't really get hit on that much but she does have more women than men. She lives in New jersey and she's 22 years old without a boyfriend. She said that she hasn't had a man in about a month now. She said that she's been seeing him for about a year but the last time they banged was a month ago. Howard didn't understand why she didn't do him more or why he's not coming out to see her.

Artie said that Danielle is the hottest chick he's ever seen in his life. She said that this guy she's seeing is a model-type but she didn't want to say what he does. Howard said that he might be gay if he hasn't come back for a month. Howard said that if she gave it to him, he'd be back every night. He said he'd do that unless he was good looking like John Stamos.

Danielle is from Basking Ridge, New Jersey and Artie knew that she was exit 36. She said that was amazing because no one knows where she's from when she says that. Robin told Artie to ask her out. Artie said that he was on a strict diet regimen and he would be thin in about a month.

Danielle said that she's only had 2 serious boyfriends in her life. She said that she was thinking about working in Hoboken so Artie offered her the chance to stay with him because that's where he lives. Howard told her that Artie is an actor and maybe she could cut his hair or something.

Danielle told Artie that she's Italian and she usually only dates Italians. Artie said that he's the same way and they should stick together. Howard told her that she could make a fortune stripping. He asked her if she has ever been topless in front of guys. She said she hadn't been. She also said that her b___s were fake.

Howard said that Danielle will be on Howard TV modeling different outfits and stuff while she introduces different shows on Howard TV. Howard asked her if she'd walk around on a beach in a bikini. She said she dos and she guesses that guys go nuts around her.

Robin asked Danielle if she would have dinner with Artie. Danielle said that she would. She even told the Howard TV guys that she would date him. Robin said that Artie is a funny, sweet guy. Artie said that he'd pick her up at 7 tonight. He said he'll just drive around Basking Ridge yelling out her name until he finds her.

Artie said that he knows a lot of people with the last name Demarco and threw a bunch out there. She didn't recognize them so Artie asked her if her family is connected. She just laughed and said no.

Howard asked her how tall she is and found out she's 5'4'' tall and 105 pounds. Howard told her that she's perfect the way she is. He said she's doing the right thing, whatever it is she's doing.

Howard asked Danielle if she's good at cutting hair. She said she really is and she'd be willing to cut Artie's hair if he wanted. She said that she could give him a mohawk if he wanted one.

Howard said that he'd dance with Danielle if she wanted to. Fred put on some music and Howard got up and danced with her. He told her not to pay attention to him, just dance herself. He wanted to see her dancing but she said that she can only dance when she's drunk. She said that she thinks she's the best dancer in the world when she's drunk. Howard showed off some of his moves and Artie couldn't take his eyes off of Danielle.

Howard said those moves he's doing are how he picked up his woman. He spent a couple more minutes talking to her and said that he would really marry her if she said yes to him. She said that she really hasn't had guys propose to her before. Howard said that Artie has to see the back of her outfit and had the guys bring her back in so he could show him that again. Artie said that he saw it already but Howard had her model for them again.

Howard asked what other outfits she had that they could check out. She showed off this one again and Artie let out a ''Holy s___!'' after that. Danielle said that she thinks she has a fat a__ and no one else did. They thought she was nuts.

Howard said he thinks that Artie is going to end up eating her for dinner if they go out. He told Artie that she's a 10 in his book. Fred said that she's a 9, her a__ is a little fat. He said he was kidding but said that she really is a 9. She's not his type but she's still a 9. He said the rest of her was unbelievable but her face wasn't his type. Howard said that her face was perfect to him. Fred said there's just a little something off with her face to him. Fred said that her body is phenomenal.

Howard had the guys bring her back in so he could look at her face. He had her walk up to him so he could look closer. She came up and Howard said that she's definitely a 10. Howard said that she has a perfect nose and she said she gets a lot of compliments on it. Fred said it was droopy. Fred said that if you're going for perfection, she's not a 10. Fred said that Pam Anderson was hotter when she was in her prime.

Howard asked Benjy if she was a 10. Benjy said that if she had about 50 more tattoos she would be. Howard asked Artie if he's going to go out with her. Artie got all irritated and said that he's aggravated and he doesn't want to go out with her because it was a fake yes. He said he just wanted to enjoy his shake.

Fred said he had to knock her down a little bit and not let her walk around thinking she's a 10. He said it wasn't about her personality either, it was based on her looks. She was a very nice girl according to everyone there but Fred said he didn't consider that.

Teddy came in a short time later and gave his boss, Artie, Danielle's phone number. Howard asked Teddy to tell him what happened out there. Teddy said that he went out and grabbed a piece of paper and told her that he's Artie's a__istant and to give him her number. He said he threatened her a little bit to get it. Artie now has Danielle's phone number. Teddy offered to be his driver if he wanted.

Ralph called in and said that he's not sure what this girl looks like but he asked if Jason could send him a picture. Ralph said that all of the guys in the back were saying that she's not a 10. Fred was still defending his 9 score. Howard said that he thinks she could be in Playboy but Fred said that wouldn't happen. He said that she could be a runway model at best.

Howard said that she was a 10 because he can imagine her having half of Artie's money after they marry and divorce. Artie said that banging her for 5 years would be worth living in a s___ty garage apartment after a divorce.

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 12/11/07. 9:55am
Steve Langford came in and gave his Howard 100 News preview. He said that they have a report about Teddy keeping some fans away from Artie over the weekend by pushing a woman away. Artie said he had to do that because the chick was pulling his hair.
Steve said that they have a story about Rev. Bob Levy opening his own web site in Levittown, Pennsylvania later this month. They have Jim Florentine's name misspelled on Bob's site. Steve said that they also have a story about Scott DePace and his Golf Caddy clamps that he's trying to sell. They have some news about The History of Howard Stern coming up next week as well. He got in some plugs for Jackie the Joke Man's show and for Riley Martin's show as well. Both of them are airing tonight.

Robin mentioned that she ran into Jackie the other day at the Friar's Club so that led to Howard and Fred doing their impressions of Jackie for a few minutes.

Jon Hein came in and gave his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon said they'll talk about Zeb Atlas' visit and all of the stuff that went on while he was there. They'll also talk about Lisa Lampanelli's interview, KC Armstrong's call, Benjy's sticky PC and more.

Robin wondered what the chances are that Artie will actually call Danielle. Artie said he's going to call her for sure. He said he will use that number.

And Finally... 12/11/07. 10:00am
Howard asked Robin to start her news. Fred played a Mike Morse song parody, ''Bonin' Robin Quivers,'' for her and then she got into her news. She started off with a story about the box office take for The Simpsons movie being over 500 million.
The guys ended up talking about Danielle again when they looked at the pictures of her that they put up on HowardStern.com. Artie said it was painful to even look at her because she was so hot.

Robin also did a story about this Hanna Montana girl who has huge sales of merchandise estimated to be in the billions of dollars. Robin also talked about the funeral for Evel Knievel. Artie said that they should have shot his coffin over Snake River Canyon. Howard said that it was an open casket too. He said that he thought about Jessica Hahn when he saw that open casket because she just banged him about 10 years ago.

Howard said he wants a list of all of the names of the chicks that banged him at his funeral. He said that Beth would be thrilled with that. Robin had some audio from the funeral and had Matthew McConaughey making a speech that didn't make much sense to anyone. Howard joked that he couldn't comment on him because he had hired him to speak at his own funeral as well.

Robin brought up Oprah Winfrey's rally for Barak Obama again so the guys ended up playing clips of her again and goofing on her. Artie even had a new Oprah Winfrey impression he was working on. He sounded nothing like her but Howard liked the impression. Howard goofed on her about being like the Oracle from The Matrix. She's so over the top with her comments about the guy. Howard said he's kind of interested in Obama but this Oprah thing really turns him off. Robin said she thinks that it's a big political mistake for him. She said that she thinks that Oprah is really a Hillary Clinton supporter and she's doing this to ruin Obama's run on purpose.

Robin had some audio of Will Smith talking about getting his spot in front of the outside Grauman's Chinese Theater. Howard jokingly said that he always thought that Will Smith was ''the one.'' They had to take a break a short time later.

After the break Robin read another story about people who think that they might be inheriting money from their families, they may want to visit them often. Howard said that's right because he changes his will just about every month. If someone p___es him off he lowers the amount of money he's leaving them. Artie joked that he's changing his will and leaving everything to that Miss Howard TV chick.

Artie said that the burger and shake he had are just slowing him down now. He had two cheeseburgers, the shake and Linden's Chocolate Chippers before that. He sounded like he was falling asleep.

Robin mentioned that Scott Baio and his girlfriend have gotten married. They have a baby now too. Artie basically said that no one care.

Robin read a story about Amy Winehouse so Howard mentioned that they had her booked for the show a while back when she was starting out and she just never showed up for the interview.

Robin read a story about Led Zeppelin going back out and performing together in a special concert. Howard said it was depressing to see pictures from that because they've aged so poorly. He said that some of these guys, like Paul McCartney and Billy Joel, still look halfway decent. The guys in Zeppelin are a mess. Robin read their set list so Howard and Artie were singing some of the songs. Fred played some of their stuff so they could sing along to that.

Howard said there were some ''secret'' rehearsal tapes that went out over the web at some point. He played some of that but it was actually Ronnie the Limo Driver singing the ''hopie kopie''(Hokey Pokey) song. Artie threw in some Ozzy Osbourne ''Bark at the moon'' at one point for no apparent reason.

Robin brought up the Writer's Guild strike and said that there are many shows and movies being held up by the strike and ''High School Musical 3'' is one that's moving forward. Howard said that he hasn't seen any new ''Smallville'' lately so that's what he's upset about.

Robin had a couple of quick clips to play before she wrapped up. She had Rev. Al Sharpton complaining about something. Howard said he had a lot of people on the phones that he didn't get to today and he asked them all to call back tomorrow. He had Johnny Fratto on the phone, Eric the Midget and a bunch of other guys. He wondered where they were all morning long when he was looking for stuff to do. He wrapped up the show around 10:45am.

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