I am gonna tell you a story
It's known by everybody
It tells what happened to my friend
When he left his house,
His mother and his dog
His girlfriend fell apart
And sold his grandpa to get some cash
(let's go!)

Sam is a special guy
He drinks milk thru' his nose
He was sponsored by a brand of cereal
He started a crazy trip
We stole a wheelchair
And tied it to the car with him in it

He is loved by all of his friends
For doing freak and strange things
And when we start
We can't stop
When he's with us everything's so funny

It gets,
Harder, harder,
To keep him under control
He goes,
Faster, Faster,
He's like an earthquake
Sam N is a s__ual bomb

Sam took a trip and
Everybody knew
That he wanted to lose his virginity,
But it went too far
Everybody knows
Police don't like public nudity

Sam, after crashing my car
Became a p___ star
He made a film to get some money,
Now his dream has been fullfilled
He's really a business man
He also owns his brand of milk and

He is loved by all of his friends
For doing freak and strange things
And when we start
We can't stop
When he's with us everything's so funny

It gets,
Harder, harder,
To keep him under control
He's goes,
Faster, Faster,
He's like an earthquake
Sam N is a s__ual bomb

Sam took a trip and
Everybody knew
That he wanted to lose his virginity,
But it went too far
Everybody knows
Police don't like public nudity

So girls and boys
(Everybody knows)
You wouldn't do the same as Sam
Cause then you would
(Everybody knows)
Have the best times of your boring lives.

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