Randall Hamburger Restaurant Lyrics

Server: Hi. Welcome to Joe's Hamburger Restaurant. [Hi] Home of the one-pound super deluxe hot and spicy cheeseburger. Will this be for here or to go?
Customer: Uh, to go.

Server: Okay. What would you like today? Would you like to try the one-pound super hot and spicy cheeseburger?

Customer: Uh. I don't think so. I'd probably have heartburn for a week after downing that monster.

Server: Well. It's our house special this week, and it comes with fries, and a large specialty drink called "Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink."

Customer: A what? "Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink"? What in the world is that?

Server: Well, it's a little mix of everything in a large cup: Pepsi, Sprite, Fanta Orange, and lemonade with crushed ice and a scoop of ice cream.

Customer: Ah, that sounds disgusting.

Server: Hey, it'll grow on you.

Customer: Nay, I think I'll just order a hamburger with some mustard and lettuce and a glass of water.

Server: Boring. Hey. Would you care for anything else like a side order of amazing cheesy onion rings?

Customer: No thank you. Onion rings usually don't agree with me.

Server: Hmm. Okay. Your total comes to ten ninety ($10.90).

Customer: Ten ninety? For just a hamburger?! You've got to be kidding

Server: Well, the one-pound super deluxe hamburger is nine dollars.

Customer: Hey, I didn't order a one-pound burger. I just wanted a simple burger. That's all.

Server: Well, sir. Joe's Hamburger Restaurant only serves one-pound burgers. [Man!] The one-pound super hot and spicy, the one-pound barbecue burger, the one-pound bacon cheese burger, the one-pound . . .

Customer: No, no. Those are all huge.

Server: Well, sir. If you really want something smaller [Yeah], you should order from the kids' menu: The half-pound super hot and spicy burger, the half-pound barbecue burger, the half-pound bacon cheese burger, the half-pound . . .

Customer: No. Those are still giant burgers.

Server: Well, in these parts, we are hearty eaters.

Customer: Okay, but you said my total was ten ninety, but the burger only comes to ten bucks. What about the other ninety cents?

Server: Well, sir. We only serve natural spring water from yonder hills, and . . .

Customer: Okay, okay. I'll take the giant burger and a bottle of your spring water. The sandwich should feed me for a week.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Key Vocabulary [Top]

deluxe (adjective): of higher quality than similar products
- She ordered a deluxe shake from the menu.

to go: takeout
- We ordered the food to go because we didn't have time to sit down and eat.

down something (verb): eat quickly
- No one could believe that the woman downed fifteen hotdogs in twelve minutes.

grow on someone (verb): develop a liking for someone or something over time
- Eating raw fish is something that will grow on you if you eat it enough.

not agree with someone (verb): become sick from something you eat
- Boy, I feel really sick. That soup didn't agree with me at all, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

hearty eater (noun): someone who enjoys eating a lot
- That baby is a real hearty eater and eats constantly.

See also:

78
78.55
Jeffrey Lewis Roxy Lyrics
04 Inherited Scars Lyrics