It's dark in my ironic underwear.
My pompons are composed of missing children's pubic hair.
The extroverts are gambling with my oomph,
Drecken uber schlecken dammergluten mischky dumpf.

No one understands me,
And least of all myself,
I need a restraining order
Against my self-distorter,
I need someone to work me like an elf.

Someone to crash my fuel-efficient hysteria,
Someone to burn my narcoleptic wonderbra,
Someone to ipo my fatal flaw,
And we'll laugh all the way to the blank,
And our love will firebomb the dank.

There's a nightmare colting in my yap,
Some epic pious pain has built a clinic with my c___,
I look into the mirror and see the mirror,
My feels are both phenomenal and crudely insincere.

No one reads my signals,
Including yours untruly,
I need a mental catheter
To drain my bloated character,
I need someone to market my ennui.

Then we'd laugh all the way to the blank,
And our love would firebomb the dank,
Dumping our exuberance
Into the insignificance,
And bending down to sniff it when it stank.

The sewer of my guilt is clogged with jokes,
I've p___t away millions running ads to prove I'm broke.
My care's in litigation with my free.
When I grow up I want to be a bitter amputee.

No one sees the monster
In my girlish dumpster,
I need some co-competitor
To love me cuz I never score,
Someone to eat me like a scratchy hamster.

O I'm so constipated,
Romantically, I mean.
It's been hours since I m_________d!
Holding things in is so over-rated!
What I wouldn't give to be enamated,
To flush my love, I mean.

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