I know that it matters
But that doesn't mean you should care I left my wife and only child
For a girl at the renaissance faire
Her name was Rowena
She came from Camelot
She spoke with the darlingest English accent
Or at least that's what I thought

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank

Well I quit selling software
Bought an RV
Picked up some cashews for Rowena
I drove us from sea to shining sea
She did the ren faire in Phoenix
She did the ren faire in Joliet
She did the ren faire in Fredricksburg Fredricksburg isn't over her yet

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank

Some nights she got cranky
Some nights she got mean
Some nights she got busy
Behind the snow cone machine
But I always forgave her
When she came home and cried
No I never felt down on my luck
When I woke up with Rowena by my side

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank

One day she went jousting
Out west Tennnessee
She took a lance to the helmet Shattered most of her teeth
She lost an eye in a bar fight
Lost her leg to gangrene
Ah but you know Rwena my love
Still the darlingest thing

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank

And it was raining in Downey
When I asked her to wed
She said "What, are you crazy?"
And she hopped out of bed
She knocked over the table
And she hopped to the door
She said "I don't sign contracts"
And left my life forevermore

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank

Now I'm heading for the dessert
Gonna burn this RV
Tell your mommy that I'd loved her And stay away from men like me
I would tell you I was following my heart
And I'd do anything to make you care But I gave up everything I had
For a girl at the renaissance faire
- And I'd do it again

Her bosom was heaving
And her hair smelled like steak
She poured me beer from her lips
And I drank and I drank
She poured me beer

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