Yon: It seems like...
... only yesterday,
Tripod: When my father sat me down and said:
Yon: "Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night".
It was...
Tripod: ... actually this morning,
And he got the dates confused.
Yon: My Dad... he's a f___wit!

Tripod: I remember another time,
When my father sat me down and said:
Gatesy: "The people in the row behind can't see".
Tripod: I said, "Dad, we're on a bus,
And there's nothing much to see".
Gatesy: And he said,
Tripod: "The landscape, son, the landscape".

Tripod: When I reached a certain age,
As all the young boys do,
Scod: My body started changing,
I grew another head.
Tripod: I had an operation,
And I had that head removed,
Scod: Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a shortage of head donors.

Tripod: My Dad took really good care of me,
Sat by my side every day.
When I started to recover,
Dad told me I was old enough,
To hear some of the things he had to say.
Hey hey hey.

Yon: Oh... he wasn't Fat Albert, my Dad... get that clear.

Scod: My Dad said,
Tripod: "Son, you've turned out nice,
You're old enough to hear my advice.
You're a man now,
And so I want to tell you what I know"

"Son, keep your receipts.
Keep your receipts.
Scod: If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat,
So son, keep your receipts,
Tripod: Keep your receipts.

Scod: Son, keep your receipts.
Keep your receipts.
If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat,
So son, keep your receipts,
Keep your receipts"

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
84
84.27
Faith Hill 01-There You'll Be Lyrics
Compton's Most Wanted Compton's Lynching Lyrics