Snl Snl Dan Akroyd & Jane Curtin Lyrics

Jane Curtin: . . . Dan, there's an old saying: "Behind every successful man there's a woman." A loving, giving, caring woman. But you wouldn't know about that, Dan, because there's no old saying about what's behind a miserable failure. [ gives a look of arrogance ]

Dan Aykroyd: Jane, you ignorant s___! Bagged-out, dried-up, slunk meat like you and Michelle Triola know the rules. If you want a contract, sign on the dotted line. Oh, but let's all shed a tear for poor Michelle Triola. There was only testimony that she had s__ual intercourse over forty times with another man while living with actor Lee Marvin. But I suppose that sort of fashionable promiscuity means nothing to you, Jane, who hops from bed to bed with the frequency of a cheap ham radio. But hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn, and Michelle Triola, like a screeching, squealing, rapacious swamp sow is after actor Lee Marvin's last three million dollars. I guess what you and Michelle are saying is that when you're on your backs, the meter is running. Well, please spare us, gals, and tell us the rates at the top. Then we can choose which two bit tarts and bargain basement s___s to shack up with.

Jane Curtin: That's the news. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.