Jim Varney Hot Rod Lincoln Lyrics
            My pappy said "Son your gonna drive me to drinkin'
            If you don't stop driving that hot rod Lincoln"
        
            Have you heard the story of the hot rod race
            Where the Fords and the Lincolns were setting the pace?
            Well that story is true cause I'm here to say
            I was driving that model A.
        
            It's got Lincoln motor and its really souped up
            And that model A body makes it look like a pup
            It's got eight cylinders, uses them all
            It's got overdrive, just won't stall
        
            It's got a four barrel carb, and dual exhaust
            With four, eleven gears you can really get lost.
            It's got safety tubes, but I ain't scared
            Breaks are good, tires fair
        
            Pulling out of San Pedro late one night
            With the moon and the stars just shining bright
            We was headed up grapevine Hill
            Passing cars like they was standing still
        
            All of a sudden, in the wink of an eye
            A Cadillac sedan passed us by
            I said "Boys this ones marked for me"
            But by then the tail lights was all you could see
        
            Now the fellas rid me for being behind
            So I thought I'd let that Lincoln unwind
            Took my foot of the gas and man alive
            I shoved it on down into over drive
        
            Wound it up to 110
            My speedometer said I hit top end
            My foot was glued like lead to the floor
            And that's all there is, and there ain't no more
        
            Now the boys all thought that I'd lost my sense
            Those telephone poles were like a picket fence
            They said "Slow down, I see spots!"
            The lines on the road just looked like dots
        
            Took a corner, side swiped a truck
            Crossed my fingers just for luck
            My fenders was clicking the guard rail post
            The guy beside me was white as a ghost
        
            We had smoke coming from out of the back
            When I started to gain on that Cadillac
            I knew I could catch him, I thought I could pass
            But don't you know by then we'd be low on gas
        
            I had flames coming from out of the side
            Feel the tension, man what a ride
            I said "Look out boys, I've got a license to fly"
            And that Caddy pulled over and let us by
        
            All of the sudden she started knocking
            Down in the dips she started rocking
            I looked in the mirror. Red lights were blinking
            The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln - d___
        
            The arrested me and they put me in jail
            Called my pappy to throw my bail
            And he said "Son, you're going to drive me to drinkin'
            If you don't stop driving that Hot Rod Lincoln"
        
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