Captain Tractor Last Saskatchewan Pirate Lyrics

Well I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times went by and though I tried the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job the answer always no,
"Hire you now" they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go"
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another b__

Then I thought "who gives a d___ if all the jobs are gone,
I'm gonna be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan..."

And it's a Heave!Ho! High!Ho!Coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a Ho!Hey!High!Hey!Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it, and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans the mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor is hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold and sail off with the hay

Well Mountie Bob, he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a comin' and the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailin' with me and we call him "Salty Bob"
A swinging sword a scull 'n bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax, and screw the GST -- "Screw It!"
Sailing down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea,
If you want to reach the Co-Op boy, you gotta get by me

It's a Heave!Ho! High!Ho!Coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a Ho!Hey!High!Hey!Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well the pirate life's appealing, but you don't just find it here
I hear that in North Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca, from Smith to Fort McKay
And you're gonna loose your Stetson and if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
But I'll be back in springtime,and now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores