Words & Music: Jake Thackray

Miss Caroline Diggeby-Pratte was at Roedean;
Her daddy is a Brigadier (a big wig).
Miss Caroline Diggeby-Pratte is seventeen
And she likes men who are sincere (jig-jig).
Caroline likes marzipan and p____cats.
Caroline's the latest in a very long line of aristocratic Prattes.

Somebody may love you, Caroline, hopefully.
Caroline, oh, callow Caroline, I know it won't be me.

Caroline is so romantic
And she likes to walk alone on lonely sands,
Just so long as the champagne c___tail
And the glossy gossip columns are on hand.
Caroline likes daffodils and waterfalls.
She follows the social folderols,
The smarty parties, all the horsy b____.

Oh somebody may love you, Caroline, helplessly.
Caroline, oh, callow Caroline, you bet it won't be me.

Caroline would like a man of simple tastes
Who runs a sporty Porsche,
Who would give her jewels, and now and then a trace
Of elegant intercourse (of course).
But he would have to know what everybody knows
The moon shines out of Caroline's,
Out of Caroline's little turned-up nose.

Somebody may love you, Caroline, hopelessly.
Caroline, oh, callow Caroline, he'll love you hopelessly.
Somebody will marry Caroline. God know what he will be.
Caroline, oh, callow Caroline, God knows it won't be me.

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