Weird Al Yankovic Confessions, Pt. 3 Lyrics

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These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say,
I came up with more secrets to tell you today

These are my confessions
Slip my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you Part 3 of my confessions

First I told you about the s____ that I was cheating with,
Then I mentioned she's having my kid
That's not all, now I recall more you see,
so I'll give you Part 3 of my confessions

Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do,
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts 1 and 2
Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)
That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for.

I borrowed your chapstick from you, without asking.
And I tried out your nose hair trimmer too.
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic zirconium.
I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one.

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say,
I needed to get some things off my chest right away

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you Part 3 of my confessions.

I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
There have been times when I've peed in your sink
Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs to Part 3 of my confessions.

Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out
why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout.
Oh and sometimes in private,
I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick
My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise.
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!
And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget
I'm so sorry Debbie! I mean Bridget!

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me.
I guess I gotta give you Part 3 of my confessions

Gave you b___ered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor
F.Y.I. it was not a coldsore
Ooops my bad,
but you'll be madder at me when I finish Part 3 of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this,
but you remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
Well, I returned it for store credit.
That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?
Oh, and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,
I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic
Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,
what I meant was that there was only enough left for me.
I'm sorry.

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say,
I thought of some more things that should scare you away

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me.
I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat

Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you Part 4 of my confessions

I mean, I'm just getting started here
I'm not even half-way down the list!
This thing could go on for...
[Footsteps]

Hey! Where ya goin'!?
Honey?
What!?
W-was it something I said?

Women...