Lee Evans Suicide Lyrics

there was a young man from gosham
who took out his b______s to wash em
his wife said "jack if you don't put them back, ill stand on the b______s and squash em"

took a bottle of sleeping pills
nothing really happened not untill
i felt slighty unstable, after looking at the label
they were my wife hormone replacement pills
and my voice went up a semi-tone
and now you can call me joan, and i've lost half a stone

i'm happy, go lucky, things come easy to me
and it's getting me down, i just wanna be six feet under ground.

i jumped from a bridge, but what i did not invisage
as i neared the ground, there was a tightening sound,
i caught my braces on the side of the f___ing bridge.
and i shot up and down again twice,
i felt revitalised,
it was probably the best time i have had in all my f___ing life.

oh yes, im happy go lucky.
things come easy to me, and quite frankly its getting me down,
i just want to be six feet under ground.

i tired cutting me wrists, i tired but i missed
i caught myself somewhere else instead,
in fact right between me legs,
i now i go and see a gynaecologist
and they tried to stich it back on,
but they did it all wrong,
and now it points in a funny direction,
no stright up!!!

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