The Macc Lads Uncle Nobby Lyrics

My name is Uncle k___by, I hang around primary schools,
Underneath my raincoat, I'm always totally nude,
I show my navel fluff collection to lots of fully-clothed men,
I get a full erection, and have to rush to the gents.

Ooh! Uncle k___by, where's our special treat?
Why do you keep taking pictures and sniffing our bicycle seats?

I introduce my p____ to hamsters, gerbils and mice,
I like to read Fiesta, and peek at the reader's wives.

Ooh! Uncle k___by, can't we please go home?
Why do you hide in the bushes? What have you done with our clothes?

I grummidge in my portfolio, which is full of Tampax ads,
I look up my own bottom with mirrors from ladies' handbags.

Ooh! Uncle k___by, can't we please go home?
We've never seen any d____s, we don't want to wear pantyhose,
Ooh! Uncle k___by, Why have you smeared us with cake?
We don't like standing in custard, and we don't want to play with your snake.

See also:

Super Fresh 01Somewhere I Belong Lyrics
Philip Toubus , Yvonne Elliman, Women Peter's Denial Lyrics