Don't smoke don't fight don't light no cigarettes
Or else you'll wind up in the can
No jokes no rights sit tight don't fool around
You are a guest of Uncle Sam
Stand up look right don't slouch and stand at ease
Allow no s__ above the knees
When I snap you jump into the master plan
I'll be d___ed
Well I'll be d___ed

I'll be d___ed if I drink or smoke
d___ed if I steal your joke
I'll be d___ed if I go for broke
d___ed if I do
d___ed if I don't

Don't talk don't fool don't try to mess around
I'll make a monkey outta you
You sign your name right on that dotted line boy
I'll be d___ed

I'll be d___ed if I drink or smoke
d___ed if I steal your joke
I'll be d___ed if I go for broke
d___ed if I do
And d___ed if I don't, yeah

Come on
I'll be d___ed if I drink or smoke
d___ed if I steal your joke
I'll be d___ed if I go for broke
I'm d___ed if I do
I'm d___ed if I don't

I'll be d___ed if I drink or smoke
d___ed if I steal your joke
I'll be d___ed if I go for broke
I'm d___ed if I do
I'm d___ed if I don't

I'll be d___ed
I'll be d___ed
I'll be d___ed
I'll be d___ed
I'll be d___ed
I'll be d___ed

See also:
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