CORNY
And now, live, from the certified up-to-code Baltimore Eventorium
For the first time ever on nationwide television
It's The Corny Collins Spectacular

COUNCIL GIRLS
He's Corny!

CORNY
Brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray

CORNY & CHORUS
What gives a girl power and punch?
Is it charm, is it poise? No, it's hairspray!
What gets a gal asked out to lunch
Is it brains, is it dough? No, it's hairspray!

If you take a ride with no can at your side
Then your flip will be gone with the wind
But if you spray it and lock it, you can take off in a rocket
And in outer s___e, each hair will be in place

Why take a chance when you get up and dance?
If you twist, I insist you use hairspray
And tell your mother, her head she should smother
With ultra-clutch faithfully

So if you're a redhead, a blonde or brunette
Just take my advice and you might just get
The only thing better than hairspray

CORNY
That's me!

CHORUS
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, doo-dle-e-ya do wah

CORNY
Forget the milkman
The only thing better than hairspray

CHORUS
Hairspray, wow!

CORNY
That's me!

CHORUS
Oh...

CORNY & CHORUS
What makes a man reach out and touch? Ultra clutch!
So if you're a redhead, a blonde or brunette

CHORUS
Woo!

CORNY
Just take my advice and you might just get

CHORUS
And you might just get

CORNY & CHORUS
The only thing better than hairspray

CORNY
That's me

CHORUS
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya, doo-dle-e-ya do wah

COUNCIL GIRLS
He's Corny Collins!

CORNY
The only thing better than hairspray

CHORUS
Hairspray, wow!

CORNY
That's me!

CHORUS
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah, ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah, do wow

CORNY
Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!

BRENDA
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do do wah

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