VELMA
Front step, cha cha cha, back step, cha cha cha
Side step, front step, back and turn

TRACY
Oh my God, Penny, there's Link, Link
I can't believe I'm really here auditioning

PENNY
I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition

VELMA
Oh Amber, look at this motley crew
This town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned...

AMBER
Oh, Mother not more ancient history

VELMA
Oh my God, how times have changed
These girls must be blind or completely deranged
But time seemed to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
Amber, that move is far too dirty

AMBER
Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930

VELMA
You can laugh but life's a test, don't do this
Don't do that, remember Mother knows best
But the crown's in the vault from when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

AMBER
These steps are perfect ammunition

VELMA
Let me show you how your mommy dear took out the competition
Girls go get 'em, boys let's rhumba

Those poor runner-ups might still hold some grudges
They padded their cups, but I screwed the judges
Those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin
In their dance, not a chance, boys, put me down

Good morning ladies, let's see what you've got

COUNCIL GIRLS
Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo

VELMA
Ready? Begin, on my show you'll never find
A thrusting hip or b__p and grind

AMBER
What's that, a dance for fleas and ticks?

VELMA
You should have seen my bag of tricks
Ohh I hit the stage batons ablaze while belting Aida
And preparing soufflés, but that triple somersault
Was how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs

Proceed...

TAMMY
Are you scared? We're on live

TRACY
No, I'm sure I can cope

AMBER
Well, this show isn't broadcasted in

COUNCIL GIRLS
Cinemascope

VELMA
I never drank one chocolate malt, no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs

AMBER
This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes

VELMA
Kid, she'll never get a date 'til daddy buys her a new nose
I would say 'oy gevalt' if I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs

AMBER
Do you dance like you dress?

LINK
Amber, there's no need to be cruel

VELMA
Would you swim in an integrated pool?

TRACY
I sure would, I'm all for integration
It's the new frontier

VELMA
Not in Baltimore it isn't, and may I be frank?
First impressions can be tough and when I saw you I knew it
If your size weren't enough, your last answer just blew it
And so, my dear so short and stout, you'll never be in

VELMA & COUNCIL KIDS
So we're kicking you out

VELMA
With your form and your face, aw, it isn't your fault
You're just down with a case of Miss

VELMA & COUNCIL KIDS
Baltimore

VELMA
Crabs

You may go.

TRACY
Um... thank you.

PENNY
I think they secretly liked you.

INEZ
Hello ma'am, may I please audition?

VELMA & COUNCIL KIDS
Of course not, but you can bow and exalt
'Cause I am Miss Baltimore Crabs, crabs, crabs, crabs

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JustSomeLyrics
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25.90
Lucky Dube Love me Lyrics
UFO Cherry Lyrics