I was on my way to turn in illegal aliens to the INS
And your stupid f___ing dog was barking at me
It sounded like a singer from a gay death metal band
I wanted to kick it in the f___ing face

[Chorus:]
I sold your dog to a Chinese restaurant [x4]

After I beat the f___ing s___ out of it
I wanted to throw it through your f___ing window
But I needed money to buy some more whiskey
So I sold it to a Chinese restaurant

[Chorus]

Your family ordered a pu pu platter
You didn't know what you were eating
It was your f___ing gay faithful dog
While you were at the restaurant I lit your house on fire

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