[Ring]

Man: Thank you for calling SST Towing. How can I help you?

Woman: I just picked up my '92 Accord from your lot and there is a huge t___ in the back seat.

Man: A huge t___?

Woman: Yes.

Man: And there's wha..there's what in the back seat?

Woman: A..a t___! A piece of s___! A big a__ human t___ in the back seat of my car.

Man: Ma'am, I a__ure you, our guys did not take a dump in your car. If you want to, bring that car back and we'll take a look at it.

Woman: You oh you wanna take a look at it? My car is fine it's that big a__ t___ in the back seat...

Man: Ok, what would you like me to do?

Woman: I te..Ok. How 'bout I go over to your house and pinch a loaf on your couch?

Man: Ma'am.

Woman: How 'bout that?

Man: Ma'am. What would you like me to do to fix the situation?

Woman: I want somebody to come over here, get this t___ out my back seat, clean my car...

Man: That's not gonna happen.

Woman: What do you mean it's not gonna happen?

Man: You can bring the car here and we can take a look at it.

Woman: I am. I'm gonna bring it back there and you know what I'm gonna do?

Man: Huh?

Woman: I'ma take a dump in every last car you got there. I'm gonna pee on your counter. I'ma do it all to show you how it feels.

Man: Ok ma'am. Ok ma'am.

Woman: You know what? You sound like a big burly man. It probably came out your a__.

Man between chuckles: Oh, yeah, I don't make it a habbit of going out and taking a dump in the cars ma'am.

Woman: How much do you weigh?

Man: Uhh...about 400 pounds.

Woman: That's your t___. That's your t___.

Man: That's my t___, huh?

Woman: Yes.

Man: That came up from a 400 pound man?

Woman: That's from a 400 pound man. Either that or a guerrilla.

Man: Ok.

Woman: I'm driving this car right to my lawyer's office and I'ma let the whole world see. You gonna be on the news this evenin' buddy. I'ma get 7 on my side. Watch, you gonna be on the news.

Man: Can you describe the piece of s___? I mean, what's it look like?

Woman: You know what it is! It came out your a__! What the hell you...asking me what color is it. I tell ya what, it smells ungodly, that's what it smells like. Something smells like you sold your a__ to the devil. That came from the pits of hell.

Man: Well, how big is it? How long is it?

Woman: It's about as long as my arm.

[Hysterical laughter from man]

Woman: I don't think this...Why ya'll...This is not funny I got a d___ 2 by 4 in my back seat! You know, I think this I think this some racial s___, too. That's what this is. Uh huh. Little kids are running away from it! I'm glad ya'll find this funny.

Man: Ok.

Woman: You probably j__zed on the steering wheels don't you?

Man: Alright, alright. How long does it look like it's been sitting in there?

Woman: Steam is coming off of it, ok!

Man: Steam is coming off of it?

Woman: Yes.

Man: It couldn't be there that long then, huh?

Woman: I am taking...This a fresh t___!

Man: Ok. What you need to do is you need to bring that t___ back and we'll match it up, we got a lineup, we'll match it up with the uh, with the other t___s that we have.

Woman: Well what you need to do is learn how to use a toilet.

Man: So you're not gonna bring the t___ back to me?

Woman: No. You know what?

Man: Just a sample?

Woman: No. I'm starting to like it.

Man: Gonna keep it as a pet?

Woman: I'm gonna keep it 'cause it's a nice..you know what, it's a nice conversation piece.

Man: Alright, thank you.

Woman: Thanks.

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