frank zapa frank zapa - titties and beer Lyrics

It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain’t shinin’
’cause the sky’s too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin’
’long the side of me

I’m mean ’n I’m bad, y’know I ain’t no sissy
Got a big-t__ty girly by the name of chrissy
Talkin’ about her ’n my bike ’n me...
’n this ride up the mountain of mystery, mystery

I noticed even the crickets
Was actin’ weird up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "gimme summa that what yer suckin’ on..."
But there was no reply
’cause she was gone...

"where’s those t__ties that I like so well
’n my g______ beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin’ twig, ’n up jumped the devil...he’s about this big...

He had a red suit on
An’ a widow’s peak
An’ then a pointed tail
’n like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright
I sweared I knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know it looked to me
Like it was t__ty skin
I said, "you sonofabit*h!"
’cause I was mad at him,
Well he just got out his floss
’n started cleanin’ his fang
So I shot him with my shooter
Said: bang bang bang

Then the sucker just laughed ’n said, "put it away...
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say? "
You ate my chrissy? "t__ties ’n all!"
Well, what about the beer then, boy? "were the cans
This tall? "
Even her boots? "would I lie to you? "
s___, you musta been hungry! "yes, this is true."
Well don’t they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
"well, you know, I can’t complain when the checks come through..."

Well I want my chrissy, ’n I want my beer
So you just barf it back up now, devil,
Do you hear?

"blow it out your a__, motorcycle man! I mean, I am the devil,
Do you understand? just what will you give me
For your
t__ties and beer? I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here..." yer goddam right, you son-of-a-w____,
"don’t call me that"
That’s about the only reason
...gimme that paper...bet yer as* I’ll sign...
’cause I need a beer, ’n it’s t__ty-squeezin’ time

"man, you can’t fool me...you ain’t that bad...
I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls I had...
Why there was milhous nixon ’n agnew, too...
’n both of those suckers was worse ’n you..."

Well, let’s make a deal if you think that’s true
I mean, you’re the devil, so whatcha gonna do?

(improvised dialog)
"wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...
That you want to make a deal with me..."

"that’s very, very true
I’m only interested in two things
"yeah? "
See if you can guess what they are"

"i would think...uh...let’s see, maybe stravinsky..."

"i’ll give you two clues. let go of your pickle"

"what? "

"let go of your pickle!"

"i’m not holding my pickle"

"well, who’s holding your pickle then? "

"i don’t know...she’s out in the audience...
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage? "

"i’m only interested in two things, and that’s
t__ties and beer
You know what I mean?
"what? "
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer
t__ties and beer!"
t__ties and beer!"
"i don’t know if you’re the right guy? "
t__ties and beer!"
t__ties and beer!"

"no! don’t sign it! give me time to think...
I mean hold on a second boy, ’cause that’s magic ink!"

And then the devil let go of his pickle
And out come my girl, there was her t__ties
Flop-floppin’...all around the world

She said "i got me three beers and a fistful of downs
And I’m gonna get ripped, so f**k, you clowns!"
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff
That’s when the devil, he farted
And she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad, I took off to my pad
I swear I do declare, how did she get back there?
I swear I do declare, how did she get back there?
I swear I do declare, how did she get back there?
I swear I do declare, how did she get back there?
I swear I do declare, how did she get back there?

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