you can shove your degree from the university of life
you can stick your BSc from the hallowed hallways of the college of firth & fife
but i can't spend another summer burning copies of my debut single in my bedroom
i can't spend another sunday on the sofa crying as another opportunity passes me by

i wouldn't wish my life upon anyone
so let's abstain
i couldn't share this life of grime
this doing time
so let's refrain

my twenty-fifth birthday was melancholy but i wasn't surprised because
my seventeenth birthday was melancholy but i wasn't surprised because
my fifth birthday was... sad and lonely
oh, well don't they start so early these days?
yes, they do!

i wouldn't wish my life upon anyone
so let's refrain
i couldn't share this pantomime
this doing time
so let's refrain

now my friends are starting families
i've barely started on mine

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