When I went off to see Ayers Rock I thought I'd buy a Mango Biscuit

Though I'd talked to several friends who said I really shouldn't risk it

They said "Biscuit mangos yes But Mango Biscuits, that's a con"

But I dug in my little heels and I set off to prove them wrong

I went into the biscuit shop and asked for "Mango Biscuits please"

And the shopkeeper was so happy that he fell down to his knees

He cried out "Take all of my biscuits they're the nicest thing to eat"

But I declined very politely saying "One will be a treat"

I thought to run a biscuit shop you'd have to be a biscuit purist

And that such a man could never run a biscuit fraud on tourists

But then O! Tragedy of Tradgedies my tears came down in streams

For what I thought were Mango Biscuits

Were nothing more than Custard Creams.

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