MC Chris ratz Lyrics

this one goes out to all the cuties in the quad
walking kitty corner with the itty bitty bod
telescopin out the window
waxin wise
while you walk
i stalk the fox box to the party on lock
security check soon my id's inspected
in the elevator waiting to get wrecked
open the door then get floored by the heat
you get passed a jay while they play paul's boutique
get a plastic cup and ice unless you like it neat
all the girl's stand up
all the guys take seats
smoke fills the air
you fill in denise
on your major
on your minor
on the middle east for sheeza
high plains drifter this sorority sister
let the belt loop lead you to the liquor elixirs
smellin better than i bubble gum scratch and sniff sticker
we lick
shoot suck
then duck out even quicker
a mad dash to my crib
cuz my roomie is a geek
he's playing galaxies
makin friends on dantooine
so, i'm climbing up a tree
beers clinging to my teeth
miss the window ledge
hit the hedge
land upon my keys

(chrous)
i am a dorm rat
that is the fact
jack
lookin at incense
playin with warm wax
hittin on the honeys at the vending machine
one hitters
tray dinners
all you need's an id
plaid pajama bottoms or plaid pleated skirts
everything you girl's wear makes me stare at the dirt
if i had b____ i'd flirt with y'all in study hall
do the geek talk till your eyes roll back into your skull
but i'm a freek
spelled f-r double three k
when you're walking my way with my pockets i play
i can't say what's yer name
care to chat for a bit
it's me brian, that guy
from that class
russian lit?
care to sit
have a chip
care for some fun dip
doystoyefsky doesn't impress me, what do you think of that s___? but i don't i just twitch and i itch in my pants, play my gameboy advance until she's finally walked past. a mad dash to my crib where i get on my blog, in search of spock dot com check it out if you want, that's the steam blowin scene where i reign supreme, webster's my friendster, i run the message board for ween, it's a mental mall for teens, it's a paradise on earth, but in a way it's like a curse, faster than a google search, i just sit here and drink beer while my roommate flirts at some party, with some hottie who's all into fred durst, it makes my heart burst, and yet i do nothing, just get on the web and start b____in and frontin, a dot com curmudgeon, who's love life is sufferin, it's the rope or the oven, or the hope i find love in the end. (chorus) i am lab rat that is a sad fact, shining my test tubes, crying in restrooms, dorm life blows if you've got no place to go, i'll call my mother everyday, i say i wanna go home.