Weird Al Yankovic Star Trek Rhapsody (Parody of Queen) Lyrics

Kirk: I am the captain of the Starship Enterprise
Spock: Captain Kirk, this is Spock, please step on the transporter
Scotty: Di-lith-i-um crystals, hit by Klingon missiles, no!
Bones: I'm a doctor...
Kirk: Not an actor
Bones: Not a milkman
Kirk: What does that mean?
Bones: And I'm sorry, he's dead Jim
Chekov: Photon torpedo-o-o-o
Kirk: Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies
Uhura: Yes, Captain Kirk, opening hailing frequencies, sir
Kirk: Let's boldly go where no one's gone before! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Beam me up, Mr. Scott! Sulu, go to warp!
Sulu: Warp three, sir.
Kirk: No! that will be way too slow.
Sulu: Warp four, sir?
Kirk: That still is way too slow.
Sulu: Warp five, sir?
Kirk: It still is too d___ slow.
Sulu: Warp six
Kirk: It's too d___ slow
Sulu: Warp seven
Kirk: It's too d___ slow
All: It's too d___ slo-o-o-ow!
Kirk: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Mister Chekov, Mister Chekov
Chekov: I am firing torpedo!
Spock: That will not work, and would be illogical to me... to me... to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!