Through the upturned glass I see
a modified reality--
which proves pure reason "kant" critique
that beer reveals das ding an sich--

Oh solipsism's painless,
it helps to calm the brain since
we must defer our drinking to go teach.

Oh virtue was the fleeting thing
Socrates was ever-seeking--
but interspersed with questioning
was his Symposium drinking--

'Cause solipsism's painless,
stick the brain in the vat since
we must defer our drinking to go teach.

The history of philosophy
is full of sots and lechery--
at APAs I think you'll see
a conduct that's exemplary!

For solipsism's painless,
flush Putnam down the drain since
we must defer our drinking to go teach--
It's beer and not conclusions
we must reach. . . .

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