Stephen Lynch You Caught Me Spanking It Lyrics

I came down to the breakfast table
Felt like I could die
Tried so hard, but wasn't able,
To look you in the eye
For I am feeling so much shame
Yes I have brought disgrace
Could tell I soiled my good name
By the look upon your face...

Well, it seems last night you caught me spanking it
No use denying it, I was really cranking it
Well, dry your eyes, don't be so sad.
If you could just forgive me, and talk to me dad
Talk to me dad

I didn't hear you enter, no I didn't hear the door
With my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor
Now burnt into your brain is an image you despise
Like blood and guts and starving kids and Stevie Wonder's eyes

Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it
No use denying it, I was really cranking it
Well dry your eyes, don't be so sad
But I wouldn't use those tissues, they've already been had
Talk to me dad

The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish
So I said "could you close the door, I really wanna finish."
Now daddy, I'm ashamed and I completely understand
If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand

Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it
No use denying it, I was really cranking it
Well dry your eyes, don't be so sad,
Just because it was your bed, it's not that bad

When I was only 17 you told me it was dirty,
So it must be really creepy when you kid is pushing thirty
But you cannot tell me, dad, you have never had a whack
At the thing that hangs below your belt and b__ps into your sack

Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it
No use denying it, I was really cranking it
Now dry your eyes, don't be so sad
But I wouldn't use those tissues, they've already been...
Just because it was your bed, it's not that...
Oh daddy, daddy, please forgive me, and talk to me dad
talk to me dad

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