MAXWELL DORIAN, VALEDICTORIAN
I SPEAK IN THREE WEEKS TO THE ENTIRE AUDITORIUM
HEAVY CORDS BUT I BEAR 'EM, MEDALS CHAFE BUT I WEAR 'EM
SIX STEPS TO ACADEMIC SUCCESS, NOW LET ME SHARE 'EM

FIRST PERIOD, CALCULUS, EASY AS PI
BUT SUCKAS REAL AS i, THEY TRY TO SPY MY a__IGNMENT
THEY'D LIKE TO DERIVE WHAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEAD
THAT'S WHERE I MAKE MATH MY MISTRESS, DENOMINATE HER IN BED

KANT KEEP UP WITH ME ONCE PHILOSOPHY STARTS
SO SMART I PICK SARTRE APART, DISCREDIT DESCARTES
I THINK THEREFORE I AM AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS
WHY AM I HERE? LET ME THINK, TO KICK a__

A THOROUGH UNDERSTANDING OF THOREAU, THIRD PERIOD
A MYRIAD OF WEARY EYES READ THE (IRA) ILIAD
BUT NOT ME I'M A.P. THAT TEXT IS TOO TAME
THEY'RE STRIKING OUT WITH HOMER, I'M RE-JOYCE-IN' IN JAMES

P.E.'s NOT EXACTLY FOR ME, BUT I DON'T CARE
I'LL GET MY A ANYWAY IN BAND I'M FIRST CHAIR
PIANISSIMO, FORTISSIMO, I GOTTA BE HEARD
YEAH I NEVER MISS A CODA, NEVER MISS A CODA, WORD!

SIXTH PERIOD, HISTORY, TOP OF MY GAME
I'M LIKE NAPOLEON BUT TALL, WITHOUT A RUSSIAN CAMPAIGN
I DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE FINAL I'M A DOWNRIGHT HISTORIAN
....MAXWELL DORIAN, SALUTATORIAN

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