Bob Rivers What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells? Lyrics

Yo, yo

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.

Is this a white Christmas? Hell no, my man
I'm leaving blood in the snow and smacking fat men
You mean Santa, that boy's a b____
He caught my mom Christmas cheatin' tryin' to give her kiss
Fo' real he's no joke, that guy don't play
He tried to ride way more than a one-horse-sleigh
Laughing all the way, but he's not laughing today
Jingle more than his bells, even the elves with pay
COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER!
We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donor
Not a question of when, not even a maybe
Have a drunk Mrs. Clause saying, Jinglin' Baby!
Give a new meaning to ho, ho, ho
Shake that a__ girl, b__p your booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal

Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend
Grab Rudolph's horns, see how far they bend
When his nose turns red, his a__ gets sent
Back out to the woods with his f__gy elf friend
Oh, Santa Claus wouldnt list me as nice
In fact, could have me listed as ˜naughty' twice
Not cuz' of the fight, or the Christmas gift hype,
Because of all the nog, I left on his wife
It's time for old nick to move and retire
Or we roast his nuts on a bigass fire
Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that cruel
I mean your a__ is huge, lose weight, for real dude
All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick
I mean, when's the last time you've seen your d___
I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to b____
But every year I get underwear, socks, and s___

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.
(yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
(yo, yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L.A.