Ron Thal I Can't Play the Blues Lyrics
            I play as fast as I can - I'm the Gingerbread Man
            With a fast hand - won't ya kick me outta your band
            I only play for me - I'm the king of Unity
            I'm a team of one - a defective hired gun
        
            I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
            And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
            Cause ya feel like a p___ in a volume war
            And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score
        
            Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
            My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
            I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
            I aint got much choice - I can't play the blues
        
            And just in case I'm in a finger race
            I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
            But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
            Ya go back in time - and end up in the 80's
        
            With our big hair
            Jackets with fringes
            Stretch pants
            Mascara
            Choreographed kicking
        
            You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
            But you became the same by a different name
            Ya forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
            Now ya can't find the pace of the new game
        
            I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
            I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
            Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
            And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
        
            CHORUS
        
            Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
            Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...
            "Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
            Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"
        
            Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
            And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
            I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
            And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
        
            CHORUS
        
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