ICP ICP - Twiztid - The Amazing Maze Lyrics
*Hello ladies & gentlemen, I'm Jeff Nepul
**& I'm Jimbo j__zm.
*Welcome to the Dark Carnival's Amazing Maze
**Over five-thousand ways to get in & NO way out.
*Let's meet today's volenteer, this is Rick.
**We like to call him, Rick The d___.
*d___face here is a wealthy entrepenuer, who smacks his wife around, & buys his way in & out of everything.
**Let's see how mister tough guy fairs up in... THE AMAZING MAZE
Violent J, (s___gy 2 Dope), & [
What up, b____. I'm Violent J, I'll be your guide for the day, kay?
Good. Got mad doors, & mad floors, hallways, crawlways, walls for days.
Make a left just before you make a right & your left should be to your right if your left's right... right!?!
Good, begin the show go on ahead boy & open up the first door.
Welcome to a theatrical thriller, meet Jack Dooby a serial killer with a chainsaw he takes yo' arm at the elbow, you get it back if you make it out, though. f___, ain't know you's cryin' all day, you need to take yo' b____ a__ back down the hallway. You gotta be a man, at least you learn. Everything you get in the maze you have earned.
(Keep runnin' time's a tickin' on the clock)
You might wanna tie that stump up in a sock
Turn right it might look the same, but you makin' tracks to the room of thumbtacs.
This really ain't s___, about a million tacs & the room spins a bit...
If you stay on your feet you'll be ok... hahaha... oh, let me get out of your way...
**Oh, boy. Rick the d___'s in a bit of a jam there, Jeff.
*That's right Jimbo, he looks like a ragdoll flippin' & spinnin' like that. You can always witness spectacles truly amazing within the amazing maze...
**Let's see where Rick's adventures will lead the little d___-wipe...
So you got a few tacs in yo' b____, pick 'em all out & head right back down the halls.
What's this... dead end? Doors locked? It's a long way back just knock...
OH, shoulda turned around no doubt. Ain't nothin' that we gotta sit & argue about. Keep goin'. Make a left, right left, now right, straight ahead some more. Open up the door.
-Silk sheets, nice breeze, relax ninja take it with ease. The maze is a place of magick, many surprises, yo' d___ rises, lay down expect the best, in comes yo' lover with a hairy chest...
_ Hello, s__y. I'm Grim Love, & I'ma have a look at your, uh, "milkdud"...
OHHH! s___, YOU FELL FOR THAT!!! I ain't gonna tell you got yo' O-ring tapped. All that dissin' of the opposite s__ & look who just got they b___-hole flexed!
WAIT! What's that!?! The walls are closin' in, f___ THAT! Hurry, run fo' yo' life.---- OH... he'll be alright.
*How's that sit with you Jimbo? First he gets plugged with bullets, then he gets his b___-plugged...
**I think he's a f___ing idiot, Jeff, I mean what can't of a__-hole can't find his way out of this maze? You gotta be a REAL d___-buffer to wind up here in the first place.
*Right you are, Jimbo. Let's watch the big d___ f___ up some more.
Alrighty, ain't no need to fear, if there's a way out it's gotta be near.
Hey, yo look, a phone. You still got one good arm, so it's on.
Can you hear? AH! Tongue in yo' ear. Drop it the phone's got a life of it's own.
-kiss me, man. Hey, come on.
Slip down the slide, go faster, bed of nails, DISASTER!
Quite screamin', yo. Hurry the f___ up & open the door.
(Quick, trees. You outside, lots of places for creetins to hide.
Watch yo' step, backdrop, caught yo foot at the ankle, SLIP!
Screamin' off with a stump, feel somethin' in the rump. Holla's.
Yeah. They're gonna get ya. How does it feel, b____. Get the picture?
Back in doors, hey, at last. Look at yo' family behind the glass.
They look weird, they're sayin' somethin'. Listen up...
-You f___ed up, you f___ed up.
Ohhh. They're laughin' & they're pointin' at you. At least you know what they're sayin's true. It's one last door. You made it home or...
Once again it's on... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
-Feris-wheels & b__per-cars are fun, but those rides just aren't for everyone. Bought my ticket I'ma have a run, in the maze. If I don't-- (HEY!)
come back a right away--
Give me tim---
(MAN, CUT THAT s___! WHAT THE f___, MAN! Happy friendly s___, man.
f___ THAT. We's Supposed to be wicked in this b____, man. Turn that s___ off, man.)